You know, packing is fucking depressing.
I think the height (depth?) of that was removing the magnets and comics from the refrigerator. Going through all of these memories, quickly, and having to quickly sort them into ‘want,’ ‘don’t want’ and ‘deal with later at a more leisurely pace’ is really draining. Thankfully most things sort easily into the first two categories with only a few items (old letters, mainly) falling into the third. I used to write multi-page letters to people via snail mail and I have a lot of that correspondence from the early 90s still, and I’m reluctant to part with it as yet. But it does bring back a lot of looking back, both good and bad, on that period in my life. Harder yet has been having Richard shred years upon years worth of financial records, many of which sat in envelopes, unopened, in storage. And I had deluded myself into thinking I don’t suffer from depression. Ha! Those unopened envelopes put the truth to that lie pretty quickly.
Part of the financial mess I got myself into back in the late 90s, after grad school and both while I was living with The Ex and after, was that I just didn’t want to face that I was in so much debt. It took years to get out of that, and finally smacking myself and organizing my finances in such a way that I had a system I could follow (and follow to this day) to pay all my bills on time and not accumulate more debt than I could handle. I’m proud of having gotten out of that, but not so much about having gotten into it in the first place. Thankfully I picked a profession and a career path that’s allowed me to make meaningful progress on my debts and do things like buy this apartment.
Took today off to do more packing. I’m going to need more boxes, but I’m not sure how many at this point. I think I may be at the point where I’m just going to have the movers pack what else is ready. Shouldn’t be a problem, especially seeing as how the bulk of my stuff is packed. I’ll continue to sort my stuff so they only need pack the things I’m taking with me, and I’m glad we packed so much this weekend, but I think I’m tapped out for this mess now.
