So, BC and I had a talk yesterday.
Earlier in the week I had sent him an email telling him that as we’ve been dating now for almost three months I thought it might be a good idea to sit down and talk about our shared expectations about where the relationship was heading. He agreed, and so we decided we’d sit down on Saturday and have A Talk.
The day got going a bit late for both of us, him with a run in the morning and me with a bike ride with a friend, so we didn’t manage to get together until late afternoon. He came over, and we chatted casually for a bit, while we both seemed to work up the courage to start discussing what we were looking for. Finally I took the plunge.
I discussed some of what my relationship model has been for the past not-quite-a-decade since I moved into DC in 1999, how I’ve consciously sought open relationships, and how that was important to me. Then I looked him in the eye and told him I wanted to date him, and only him, and to have sex with him, and only him, at least on my side of things, if that was something to which he was amenable.
To say that he was surprised would be an understatement of immense proportions; shocked would be a good way to express his first reaction. That was what he had wanted as well, but he had been steeling himself for most of the week to hear something else, given my normal relationship model (we’d had some previous conversations about dating in the past). So when I told him that I wanted a monogamous relationship, though not in those words, it wasn’t what he’d prepped himself to hear.
Many hugs and a lot of silly grins and cuddling followed. We managed not to cry, barely, which was good (though tears wouldn’t have been inappropriate, I suppose). This is a big thing, and a big change, but it’s where I am now. I’m still just amazed at how right this has been, and how well we’ve meshed, physically and socially. I did warn him that people were going to wonder what he’s done to me, since this is very out of character for me since being in DC. He assured me he could handle it.
So, monogamy, then, for the first time in quite a long time. I’m ready for it, and looking forward to it.