Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

The cult co-op’s annual meeting wasn’t so bad. The usual suspects got up and spouted their insanties, and we got through it without a lot of other nonsense. Of course, they started half an hour late, and we barely had quorum, but hey. I did finish a baby sock, got back to the apartment all excited about it, only to realize that when I did the first one I must’ve skipped a step (a few plain knitted rows) because the original is much shorter in the leg than the one I just finished. Crap. I so fail at reading directions sometimes. So much for giving the co-worker with the new baby a pair of baby socks next week.

Did manage to sleep fairly well last night, bourbon notwithstanding. I think it helped that it was a nice, calm, peaceful night out chatting calmly with a charming gentleman in a not-too-obnoxious bar. After we left the one that was doing drag bingo, that is.

I get to skip work entirely tomorrow in favor of my one (one) professional development activity for the year – the annual approps law update over in the legislative branch. Huzzah. Then it’s work HH, followed by club HH. I’ll have to pace myself. And drink lots of water. And take taxis. But since I am working on Friday, I’ll definitely behave as hangovers at work are teh suxors. It’s not like I’ve been bad lately anyway, as evidenced by my surprisingly higher than ever before in my ten years as a fed sick leave balance. I keep this up I might get to a higher sick leave balance than my annual leave balance, which would be a definite plus since it means I could start using sick leave for doctor’s appointments instead of annual leave, and save the “good stuff” for real vacations like this June’s.

Holy shit, it’s Tuesday evening. As in “it’s already Tuesday evening,” and also “is it only Tuesday?” all in one. The time change threw my already precarious balance with sleep and the morning meetings completely off. Add to that a host of “too much work-itis” and you have a mix that’s just been more than a bit nuts. Oh, and social and cult/co-op obligations most of the week as well.

I fully expect my candle to be completely burnt out by Saturday evening.

I will cut my participation in the cult thing short tomorrow if I still find myself in need of sleep. Won’t be able to keep functioning otherwise, and frankly I despise those things and would like as little to do with the process as possible. The folks who are most vocal at these things are batshit-crazy and best avoided under normal circumstances. And then they wonder why they can’t get more participation. Despite the advantages of desk service and on-call maintenance, it is enough to drive one away from communal living arrangements.

The boy bingo has been interesting. Did confirm something based on a friend’s post from day or so ago – I have no tolerance for the folks who lie about their age online. I’m not talking about “oops, had a birthday a month ago and forgot to update,” but rather the deliberate attempt to blur one’s identity by moving up or (more likely) down in age in some vain attempt to make one look more attractive. The last few times I’ve run across that it hasn’t been a pleasant thing, and it engenders a sense of distrust in the person and who they ultimately are under their public persona.

Following the stress of this past week, I ended up going out on Thursday to meet the regular crew at JR’s, then on Friday, in a convoluted fashion, I ended up at the new Ziegfield’s/Secrets. Two late nights, and even without drinking terribly much, it was more of that sort of stress than I’m used to. It was fun, but I don’t see how some guys do that week after week.

Tonight’s plan is a dinner date, sober, with one of the regular crew from Thursday. Don’t know if it’ll go very far past this as I hadn’t realized he smoked when I agreed to the date, but hey, we’ll see how it goes. Can’t really do much past dinner because I’d like to bike or run tomorrow, and I need more normal sleep pattern back before the upcoming work week and the new stresses that will entail.

On a side note, I wonder if anyone has studied whether people buy less cologne/perfume in jurisdictions where they don’t allow smoking in the bars.

It was interesting to see that Z/S is within walking distance, as long as you feel safe walking through/around the public housing between there and the cult co-op. The experience was a bit crowded; I don’t think they have a very good layout for the bars – too crowded and too few bartenders. Getting ignored by one bartender as he worked the back bar didn’t help my impression of the service. No dancing upstairs, either, despite a large dance floor and lots of dance music playing for the dancers.

Despite my best efforts to be a complete and utter slug today, I did actually manage to get something done today, namely laundry. Otherwise I called in to work because I hadn’t really slept, and then crashed until noonish to catch up on sleep. Then there was Dead Space. Lots and lots of Dead Space. I actually beat the game once through just now (started it Saturday; easy mode), and I’m trying to decide how much more I’ll play in the near future to max out achievements. Sounds like a good inauguration day activity (when not watching the events, that is).

Called the SIL this evening, no word back tonight, so I’ll pester again tomorrow. I can tell I’m still on edge because my poor fingers have been gnawed down to nubs (I bite my nails/cuticles when I’m upset). Perhaps throwing myself back into work tomorrow will help assuage some of this, and I’m hoping my SIL will have better news about my brother (and their efforts to clean the apartment). Who knows?

Still need to organize some shelving I picked up on my way home (yay Ikea!) which looks pretty good, but needs to have some sense of what-goes-where on it. It’s given me an idea for the entertainment stuff as well, which might not need to be as large as I’d assumed before. We shall see. But first tomorrow evening is prep work for the new triathlete program for this year. We’re getting off to a slightly later start, and I’m hopeful this will help cut out some of our volunteer burnout from previous years.

Family can be a lot of trouble.

In brief summary, I spent the last couple of days down in Tidewater visiting my brother’s family, checking on them in the wake of another suicide attempt by my brother. What I discovered was literally a huge mess. The apartment was a disaster area, clothes everywhere, toys everywhere, trash everywhere. It looked like the inside of a white trash trailer.

(By way of background, my brother (31), sister-in-law (31), her twin sister (31), my two younger nieces (2.75, 1.5) and the twin’s son (8) all live in this 2 story apartment. My brother is currently in a mental health facility after Wednesday morning’s attempt.)

I did help get them started on cleaning things up, and I hopefully got them started on working on their bills in a meaningful way. I was not about to clean their dishes for them, though – both sinks were full, and there were more piled up on the table and stovetop. They were late on rent, they were late on the one car payment (which I did pay), and late on a storage unit (which I also paid).

Last night I sat down with two women and apologized for being blunt, but just looked at them and told them they were going to have to be adults, and the house and their finances as they were now was not how adults lived. Had I been a social worker when I came in on Thursday they would not have the kids. They have to get in the habit of putting things away immediately, and they have to take care of bills and mail ASAP. The younger girl keeps getting ear infections; I pointed out that with food trash all over the house, there was a good chance that was contributing to the kids getting sick. My brother admitted when we visited Thursday night that the mess in the house was a trigger for his depression (which the SIL heard, and I reemphasized a couple of times over the weekend). Hopefully coming from me it will get through to them, because heaven knows it hasn’t gotten through coming from either set of parents.

And my parents have said that if they don’t get this stuff cleaned up and soon that they’re going to have a talk with her parents and will consider taking action jointly to protect the nieces.

I’ll do some follow up with them over the next few weeks to see how they’re doing with bills and the cleaning. As I told them, they’ve got to get their act together and act like adults, or their situation is never going to get better, and it might get much, much worse.

I came home today, did some stuff around my own apartment, but I’m just wiped out emotionally tonight.

I had a follow up with my podiatrist this morning. Result: he carved a corn off my little toe (unrelated to anything else going on), and released me from follow up appointments on the plantar fasciitis. There was almost no pain when he pressed on the heel, and I’ve been able to walk around town and do some short sprints (a la running for an elevator or the Metro) without paying for it afterward, so there was no more need to go in and see him. I have the brace to wear if I feel the need to stretch out the tendons, and I’m cleared to start running when I feel ready to do so, with the caveat that I have to build up very slowly with any running I might do.

I should be relieved, but I’m more scared than anything else. Scared that starting up will mean the return of pain. That this will somehow end up being an even longer process because I’ll screw up the foot by doing too much.

Yuck.

I’m going to have to play it by ear. First step will be sleeping without the blinkin’ brace on my foot to see how that goes. Then maybe some running, on a dreadmill treadmill, in case something isn’t right with it. Keep your fingers crossed.

This past weekend sucked. I finally got productive around Sunday afternoon when I had a cleaning/laundry fit, but prior to that it was a lot of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, avoiding walking, and playing on the Wii. My usual “leave me alone until I feel better” attitude gets compounded when it’s semi-painful to walk as well; doesn’t encourage me to leave the house for a lot when it can potentially hurt to do so.

Did get out Sunday morning to use a gift certificate my newbies had given me at the end of their tri program, picked up some cross-training implements to help with that process. Was a good excuse to get out of the house, but even the walk to and from Metro ended up making my heel sore.

Then, today, not a ton of pain. Wandering around the office was fine, no real pain. The bike ride there and back was fine, of course (biking hasn’t irritated it at all, thankfully). So bizarre, pain the one day at minor stuff, none the next at a more normal course. Wish it would just heal up already, this is long past the point where it got old.

This was one of those days. Got up late, got ready, was going to be a few minutes late, but was zipping out the door to make our 10 am staff meeting (I report at 9:30 normally). Checked the work blackberry as I was packing my bag, only to find out it had been changed to 9, not 10 (they’re always at 10!!!), and I was now late for it. Horribly embarrassed I biked in as quickly as I could. Everyone was already back from the meeting (oy), and I apologized all over the place to my supervisors. They were laughing about it, but it pretty much set the mood for the day. At least the presentation I gave to our field counsel over the phone went well.

Thankfully I’m off tomorrow so I can run errands (podiatrist, new drivers license, dry cleaning, etc.), but man did that blow.

WTF? Hot lawyers, and they’re all straight, and married, and that’s the story of my life.

Cookout at my friend L’s place in SE DC with her and her husband and their friends from the DOD. She’s one of 2 people, perhaps three that I’ve stayed in touch with from undergrad. It was good to see them both and their friends, and I enjoyed seeing them all.

I swear, I can’t get my father’s words out of my head, “We wish your attention span were longer.” That was so cutting a comment, and felt so true. Seeing people my age with kids 7 and up didn’t help. It would likely be easier if I didn’t get along with kids so well, either. I do sort of miss that, even if I don’t particularly want to raise children of my own. I wish I were closer to my nieces. i do miss seeing more of them as they grow up.

Caught up on bills today, and worked through a backlog of mail and magazines (mostly by just tossing the unread magazines since it was highly unlikely I’d actually read the back issues now). Cleaned some in the process, clearing off the couch and the dining table for the first time in a while. Unboxed the new oven and microwave, in hopes the maintenance folks will be able to get to them this week or next (and in any case they look better without the huge boxes around them now), provided we can connect on the phone soon. And actually did some work (for the BGA) today as well.

Otherwise the day was pretty blue for me. Today was the Nation’s Triathlon, which was to be my last race this season, and what I hoped would be the capping race to what started out as a pretty good darned season. As it was, I couldn’t even bring myself to go down to watch it, or do any of the club events surrounding the event. The fact that I can’t run has weighed very heavily on me this year, and it’s not been pretty, nor very easy to deal with. I miss it, a lot. I didn’t realize how much it affected my entire being to be able to get out and just run. The fact that the lack of running has been the fault of fairly consistent pain in my right foot (which just brings the fact to the fore on a daily basis) contributes to this, I’m sure.

The foot’s actually been more sore, which the aftercare guidelines says is normal for the first couple of weeks after the zapping. Hopefully it’ll get better as I get closer to the follow-up appointment on the 3rd, I’m really getting tired of having pain when I get up in the morning and take that first step (or if I end up walking a bit too much during the day, which is pretty much every day for me).

Anyway, what will happen will happen, and I’ll keep working with the podiatrist until the foot’s back to normal, but in the meantime I’m not much motivated for tri stuff.

Oh, and I finally withdrew formally from the IM race in November, too, so I can get the minimal refund they’ll send for it. Much sadness there, I really wanted to finally do one of those and I thought this was going to be the year for it. Guess not.