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Entry the Hundred and Seventieth04 November 2000 Contented I needed that run this afternoon. After sitting around all morning in my pajamas, working on programs and tweaking this and that on the computer (and just generally being lazy), getting out of the house and into the park to run felt wonderful. And it allowed me time to think about this, that and the other in my life and what I'm doing and where I'm going (which is one of the reasons I no longer wear headphones when I run - I get the extra time to think about stuff when it's quiet). So, while running down the path I got to absorb a couple of things that have happened this week. For one, I now am in a confirmed triad with Doug and RE. The three of us discussed this some on Wednesday when they were over at my place for dinner, mainly saying that a good definition of a "boyfriend" (and I have to credit this to Doug) is someone whom you do not wish to leave until you know you have confirmed another time you're going to see them. RE fits that now with both Doug and I, so he is now officially bf#3 (bf#1 being Doug and bf#2 being Lawrence). The triad is a neat thing. It's going to take more work, but we think it's worth it. Another thing was setting up a time to talk to someone in HR at one of the big law firms in town about finding a job. I've never done a legal job search, but now that I'm actively starting to look, I need a game plan and an idea of where I'm going with all of this. What a mess. Talking with her should help give me some direction, though, which'll be a good thing. I got to watch the full brilliance of the fall leaves as I ran, too. This is one of the advantages of living right off the largest park in the District. I also got to dwell on the lucky things in my life while thinking of what to put in the Collaboration for Out There!. Spirituality was the topic, so I covered it as I saw fit. Go take a gander if you wish. But in all of this, with the exception of the job search, I am essentially contented. I feel a lot of support from all three of my boyfriends, and am glad to be seeing all of them. They all add to my life, and I can only hope that I add to theirs as much as they do to mine. ArchivesRan 20 min in RCP |
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy First05 November 2000 Dreams I dreamt last night that I was on a bicycle, with other competitors, riding the Ironman course at Penticton, British Columbia, Canada. I've been up there, that was my vacation last year with my best friend, and this is a long term goal of mine, so it's not like I don't know the course. But to see myself riding that course was both a thrilling and a terrifying thing. I've had prescient dreams/flashes before, like this one just a quick snapshot of a scene and never a full "moment," so to see this in this way was a tad freaky. I mean, I know I'll get there some day, but to actually picture myself doing this, especially seeing as I don't even own a bicycle yet. Weird. Weirder still because I don't remember my dreams normally. I know I do dream, but I hardly ever remember them. I suppose the night of tossing and turning and floating in and out of consciousness had something to do with this particular instance. Frightening and thrilling all at once. ... I've decided that it isn't the cold I object to in winter so much as that it takes so much effort to get ready to go outside (without freezing, that is), and even when you do you dry up in the cold winter air. If I have to moisturize my hands one more time I may scream. ... As part of preparing for my 10k this next Sunday I got out and did a long run today. Again, went further distance-wise than I have before in the park (which I like to do on Sundays - always a push to get a little further), and glad to have done it. I've felt really down on myself in terms of my exercise (and the lack thereof) and the resultant effects on my weight. Yes, I'm still thin, but not quite where I was this past summer, which is annoying me to no end. Especially when I have to get into my jeans. ;-) They're not impossible yet, but they're a tad tighter than I might like them to be. I still fit 'em, but not quite as well as when they were purchased. :-P Part of this has to do with my constant fight against getting enough sleep at night. I function so much better when I actually get sleep (duh!), yet I continue to stay up far too late. "I'll take 'Self-destructive behavior' for 1000, Alex!" Grrrrr. Thank heavens for the long run today, I was able to burn all those self-doubts out in a burst of endorphins. So, I'll do what I can to get this mess back down, including cutting the caffeine back down again (this morning's brunch didn't help - I had maybe four cups of regular coffee? *sigh*) and getting more sleep. That should help tremendously. I hope. Because if I'm going to make it to Penticton, I'm going to have to continue to push, and that dream tells me I am going to get there. Someday. ArchivesRan 50 min in RCP |
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy Second06 November 2000 Scales A scale is a merciless thing. Which is likely why I ignore mine for the most part. Something possessed me to check it this morning, though, much to my (current) annoyance. It would seem I have yet to recover from the disaster known as Bar Prep Night Classes this summer. Oh dear. This will, of course, simply not do. I am not willing to even entertain thoughts of giving in to this particular trend. Does this make me a body fascist? When it comes to my own body, yes. I'm far more forgiving of others' flaws than my own. So why this obsession now? I'm not sure, except that is likely another effort to control one aspect of my life while others are in flux. Such the little type-A attorney. ;-) ... Was told last night, in reference to my nickname, Moose, that I was quite the contradiction. This was so, according to this gentleman, because moose (the animals) are admittedly quite big and quite dumb, whereas I appeared, at 5'6" and two graduate degrees later, to be neither. I must admit, I do love to challenge assumptions of who I am, and I do get a lot of odd looks when introduced as "Moose" by my friends. Gotta love it. ... How to guarantee you'll do nothing all day: schedule meetings! I had four today and between them I got pretty much nothing done. Yay me. :-P Acne sucks donkey dick. You'd think at 28 I could stop getting the stuff. Sheesh. Leaving work after it's dark also gets a big fat zero on my list of favorite things. Ick. How much longer is it until the solstice? Enough already. S'okay, I'll be home soon, then I can veg out and answer the eternal question: to trick or not to trick? *grin* ArchivesNo Run, No Gym |
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy Third07 November 2000 Grumble I love my city dearly, but on occasion the services offered herein are truly pathetic. Take voting this morning. It took me well over an hour to perform a civic duty that should have taken just a few minutes of my time, even counting time in line. The first problem was that you had to go to two places to get everything you needed to vote. The first line was alphabetical, checking yourself off the master list and getting handed a card with your ANC number on it, then you got in yet another line to get the actual ballots. Why, pray tell, could they not have handed the three ballots to us right at the start? As it was the delay was not in line #1, but in the second line. There were two women who appeared to be past retirement age and who were slower than molasses handing out the actual ballot. As a result of their slow pace there were always empty voting booths. I don't know if it was simply a matter of needing more volunteers or a better system or both, but there was no excuse for that bit of silliness. I do plan on writing to various government officials about this matter, and I will also look into volunteering at the polls, if such a thing is permitted. I just cannot see leaving something as important as this to such an asinine process. ArchivesRan 30 min in RCP |
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy Fourth08 November 2000 Reticence 00/11/8 8:25 a.m. I constantly wrestle with the decision about how much detail to put in this diary, especially when it comes to sex. I mean, I admit quite freely when I trick (as I did last night from gay.com, despite my stated intention to get some rest), but I don't usually go into a lot of detail about particular acts. Part of it I suppose is a reticence about printing such things in general. Part of it is that good friends, boyfriends, and lovers of mine read this journal. I'm not quite sure why I should hesitate, it's not like I wouldn't tell them these things in person. Maybe 'tis the medium and not controlling timing of disclosure. I don't know. ... Don't have time this evening, cause I'm about to run out the door to have dinner with RE and Doug, but I'll post some details on last night's adventure tomorrow. ;-) ArchivesNo Run, No Gym |
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy Fifth09 November 2000 How I Spent Election Eve Last night I got home, hopped online and got caught up in chatting and watching the election results. Despite my professed disinterest in watching, as with the proverbial train wreck I could not tear myself away. I went and got Italian takeout, sat and chatted with Doug and Donny and Tom, as well as on gay.com. Had a good time chatting with the three guys, all fellow diarists (and all very sexy to boot .*grin*), and all watching/listening to the results. Tom eventually took off, followed by Doug, then Donny, and I was left on gay.com chatting and finishing off the last of my bourbon (which thankfully was very little, barely enough for two drinks). Not the best place to put myself, alone, mildly buzzed and in a chat room, but I've done stupider things in my life. So, as the evening's main entertainment (the election watching) wound down and I began to have thoughts of sleep suddenly I was privated (sent a private message, as opposed to one in the main room) by a rather cute-sounding lad around my own age. Stats looked good (if they were real, which they were - one never knows online, though as ever I prefer to give folks the benefit of the doubt), and he was friendly. He was simply looking for a quickie, so I took stock of my own feelings and decided for the encounter. He was an easy walk from my place, a rare and pleasant thing to find. Most of the queer men in my immediate vicinity tend to be settled, coupled property owners. Finding a trick within a twenty minute walk is therefore a precious commodity. I don't mind traveling, but at almost two in the morning my modes of transportation are pretty limited. Took a brisk walk down to his area and met him on the corner. We took the back way in, through a garage and a small alley to a direct door into his room rather than the main door. Seems one roomie was asleep and one was out dancing. Not a problem, I can understand the desire for privacy in such things. Got inside and he explained that we might be interrupted because the roomie who was out would have to walk directly past his doorway, which seemed to have no door to close to the hallway. He did close the outer door so the roomie would have to knock to get in, thereby warning us. As fate would have it as soon as we started to get it on the roomie returned. LOL! I snuck out the side door and waited for the trick to return. He did so shortly and we retired to the open garage through which we had come moments before. I've never had "public sex" before - sex where there was at least a reasonable chance of some random person interrupting the act. I have to say, while I would not want to make a habit of it, there was a certain thrill in the possibility of discovery. We had sex in the doorway of an old truck parked in the garage. It was good sex, and he was a fabulous kisser (which is a huge plus in his favor). Certainly someone I'd not mind playing with again, though as the days grow colder I think we might have to shy away from the truck. *grin* It was very good to find a good trick. I had been going through so many mediocre to just plain bad ones that I was doubting my ability to find them (ego moment - not my ability to attract them, mind you, just my ability to find any to begin with). 'T'was most refreshing. ArchivesNo Run, No Gym |
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy Sixth11 November 2000 Bad Sex Bad sex is just not worth it. It's a waste of time and leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth (kind of like a bad piece of candy). Blech. I don't require my tricks to have perfect bodies (though the range may narrow after recent encounters), but I do want them to have a sense of what it means to play. I chose that word very deliberately because it expresses that this is supposed to be a fun activity, one which does not necessarily have to be either a chore or a rush to an end. I want partners who will explore, who aren't afraid to take some time to see both what I like and what they like. Men with a certain patience when it comes to finding out what they want. Which is not to say that fast and furious is out of the question, that certainly has its place (thank heavens *grin*), but the race to orgasm is not the entirety of sex. Sex can encompass so much, from plain vanilla to the roughest S&M, and of course not everyone will enjoy every variety (even I don't necessarily like the full spectrum), but to not even be willing to slow down and try? What will these people do when faced with a situation where they need to examine their assumptions about what constitutes sex and/or intimacy, run away? And what of the rest of their lives? Are they as brittle there? How sad. I suppose this requires a certain amount of self-knowledge and self-confidence. You need to know where your own limits lie in order to work with someone else's. And that takes time, time to explore and learn and process, and patience to work through it all. There seem to be so many out there who do not bother to process what they are doing and to learn from the experiences, thereby dooming themselves to repeat the same mistakes and limiting their horizons accordingly. ArchivesNo Run, No Gym, Danced Instead |
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy Seventh12 November 2000 Depression and Motivation (revised) Okay, so the day got a little better than when I wrote that this morning/early afternoon. Never did go running, but the body is feeling less sore from the dancing on Friday night (it's been a while since I danced, and I'm an energetic dancer, so muscle soreness was to be anticipated, even if it wasn't anticipated), and a bit more "in-to-sorts" than "out-of-sorts." Thank heavens. Lovely evening out with Lawrence. Had Thai for dinner, where, though I ate the whole bloody dish I did not feel over-stuffed (maybe my stomach is growing? Nah! Just starving for something besides pasta and PBJs!). Saw "Two Sisters and a Piano" at Studio Theater down near the Dupont area (the queer area of town, for those of you not in the know). It was... interesting. Don't get me wrong, it was good, it was well-acted (IMHO), but, as Cuba (where it's set) does even to this day, it left you feeling unresolved. Despite all of that, I thoroughly enjoyed the play, as I enjoyed the first play I saw there, "The Vigil," which was a scream. Might just have to look into regular tickets for the place for next season. Hmmmmm. So, all in all a productive day, despite the melancholy beginning. ...Start original entry here... Chemically induced depression is a horrible thing. Addiction to and withdrawal from caffeine are horrible things. The feeling when you are coming off the stuff is just wretched. I don't want to do anything, don't feel like I have the energy to do anything, just want to lie down until the feeling passes and I can get going again. Which, of course, won't solve anything. I actually am doing things today. I've mostly got my kitchen reassembled after the supposed de-bugging my building did. I'm in the midst of laundry. I redesigned the front page of Countfour.org. I've played with style sheets and am trying to learn those. So why do I feel so blah? Part of it is the caffeine (I've had waaaaaaaay too much lately and I can feel the effects now). Part of it was not being able to get down to my 10k race this morning. :-( Wanted to do that, but it didn't happen as I had no real way to get down there at the hour when it was to start. Part of it is general upset at the state of my body and exercise routines. Part of it is the total lack of sunshine in my place today (my apartment faces north and east and the clouds keep cutting out what little bit of sunshine that's peeked through). I have every light in the place on, it seems, to keep it bright enough. Normally I don't mind the dark, but today is not a good day for that. The joys of a mild case of S.A.D. Blech. I know there are so many things I need to do with my life, so why can't I seem to get motivated? It's like I can't seem to get on with things until I reach some crisis state that forces me to act. Do I really let inertia keep me going so long? It took The Ex coming home and announcing to me that he'd met and slept with someone to get me to move out (of course, once that happened I jumped to it and was out in 2 weeks, so it's not like I can't get moving when I need to). It took looking at my body and being disgusted with it one day to get myself out and running. It's taking the very real end of my internship to get me to look for a job, but even on that I'm not exactly moving like I should be. Ugh. Insert plaintive wail here I hate caffeine. ArchivesNo Run, No Gym
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy Eighth13 November 2000 Restless 00/11/13 8:28 a.m. What demon possesses my brain on a Sunday evening, making it race and resist sleep? Why do fevered thoughts, clear in their own way, crowd themselves in at the expense of my rest? Why Sunday? Why just as the week is to begin? Why start me out in a deficit? Bah, I wish I knew. This happens on occasion, my head racing with things I want to do, typically before I need to get up and run the next day (as I did this morning). I should get up and write these things down, but my rational side cries, "Sleep! Sleep it what you need, not these thoughts that scatter logic to the four winds!" And so I pop a melatonin, lie down, and wait for some measure of calm to return, all the while attempting to file some of these thoughts away for later. ArchivesRan 20 min in RCP
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Entry the Hundred and Seventy Ninth15 November 2000 Five 00/11/15 8:32 a.m. Walked out the door of my building at about the normal time to see not one, not two, but five buses just pulling away from the curb. Then stood at the stop as two S1 buses, which are of no use to me, came by. Finally an S2 came and I'm writing from inside it now. It is mornings like this that remind me why Rule Number One of Moose's Rules of Life © is: Life is inherently ridiculous. That rule gets me through so many days. ArchivesRan 20 min in RCP
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Entry the Hundred and Eightieth16 November 2000 Spotted 00/11/16 8:15 a.m. Nice relaxing evening at home last night. A much appreciated recharge with Doug. What is it about winter that makes people look so plain? Do women stop wearing makeup? Is it the lack of sunlight, either in terms of lighting or in terms of coloration? Is it the drab colors that everyone wears? I say we demand that serious, adult clothing for winter be done in brighter colors just to help cheer people up. All these navy blues and blacks and greys are too boring for words. Rise up! Revolt! Demand color! ...said the Moose who wears mostly dark outfits to work. :-p ... Happy hour is in the plans for this evening. Supposedly several friends will be there, so it'll be a good chance to be social. A little interaction with people outside of work will be a good thing. Don't know why I have this need to be out and around people, I just know I'm happier, and healthier, when I am. A Social, as well as a Legal Moose. ... Happy Hour at Omega turned into dancing out at Badlands (after getting a tad too tipsy at Omega *sigh*). Was happily dancing away when a cute boy turned to me on the dance floor and asked, "Hey, aren't you Moose?" OMG, I had never been "spotted" from my web site (or chatting) before. I had chatted with this particular boy before, hence him remembering me, but how strange to have someone I'd not met recognize me out in public! It just seems so strange to have someone recognize me solely from my presence on the net. Not quite fame, I suppose, but strange enough in its own way. ArchivesNo Run, No Gym
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Entry the Hundred and Eighty First18 November 2000 It's all Relative I'm sitting at home this morning, sipping some coffee (oh dear - caffeine and the Moose...), waiting for a call from Doug. We're headed down to meet the last of his relatives for a pre-holiday dinner. The whole clan will be there and, as the newest member (not counting the new baby), I'm going to be on display. Cool. ;-) I revel in attention (which is probably one reason I write this diary, but that's a matter for my therapist, assuming I would ever go to a therapist). I love to work a crowd, to chat with a variety of folks, to trade ideas and see them laugh and think and grow. When doing so helps someone I know, even better. I know that how I am perceived today will reflect on Doug and how his siblings see him. No pressure there. I'm confident enough in myself (arrogant enough?) that I know I'll come off well and they'll approve. And it will be fun in the doing of it. ArchivesNo Run, No Gym
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Entry the Hundred and Eighty Second21 November 2000 Stomach You know, I was going to write something witty about Saturday's dinner, but I can't think of any way to do it without casting aspersions on Doug's relatives, whom I liked quite a lot. Suffice to say that the place we went did not live up to my expectations of what a "steak house" is supposed to be and that the cuisine ripped my stomach to shreds all the next day. My stomach has been on my mind a lot these days. I have constant problems with the beast, the polite term for it all being something along the lines of "gastric distress." Fill in the blanks yourself. So I finally called my doctor's office today and made an appointment for next week to talk about what I can do about this mess. In the meantime I think I need to cut out even the little bit of decaf coffee I'm having in the mornings and become even more of a lactose-nazi (lactose is evil; cows are instruments of the devil) in an effort to try and help my tummy stay normal. It's been so long since it was "normal" that I sometimes forget its current state is not a good thing, nor a regular thing. I'm praying this is simply a matter of avoiding this or that in my diet and not something more serious. I suspect it is merely a food sensitivity/allergy, which is fine. I can live without certain foods if doing so raises my standard of living in other ways. Unless of course it's tomatoes, in which case I'm going to kill myself - I eat those in one form or another daily. ... Came home and headed down to the grocery store. Ya know, if you don't have a car, and it's in the single digits outside with the wind chill, a taxi is perfectly acceptable for getting home. *grin* Thanks heavens there are tons out there, too, even if it did take flagging down four before one stopped for me. :-p Was out picking things up to make "Sweet Potato Casserole with Praline Topping" for the potluck Thanksgiving I am once again doing this year. Thank heavens my girlfriend is having it again or I think I'd be lost. I much prefer this method of helping out with the food in exchange for coming over. I can't imagine just showing up at someone other than Mom's house (where I know I'd be put to work anyway) without a dish in hand. This one should be pretty easy, it's mostly made now, just have to pull it out on Thursday morning, sit it out for 1/2 an hour (the ride to her house on Metro) and pop it in the oven for 45 minutes once I get there. Woo-hoo! Might end up making bread there, too, but that remains to be seen. :-) The fact that I love to cook this much is another factor in finding out what is wrong with ye olde digestive system - if I know, it's easier to cook around it. :-/ Please let it be something simple and behaviorally fixable! I hate taking medicines, and the thought of doing so for the rest of my life is just anathema. *shudder* If it's strictly necessary, I will (witness the claritin I take almost every morning), but I don't have to like it. :-p ArchivesNo Run, No Gym
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Entry the Hundred and Eighty Third22 November 2000 Freak boy 00/11/22 8:16 a.m. Of late this journal has seemed to be entirely obsessed with the particulars of my daily life. No big revelations, no sudden insights. Merely the dull daily routine as I go about my day. Blah. I suppose I'm so down on this because I feel like I could write so much that doesn't end up in print. Like my fitful job search it would happen if I'd take the time. I feel better that I'm doing something about my stomach, although I shall feel sorely tested if I have to eat nothing but rice and lamb for several weeks. Seems pretty much no one is allergic to rice and lamb so they have you eat nothing but that for a week then gradually reintroduce other foods to see what gets you. We (my family) did this when I was 15, which was when we discovered that milk was my bane. I think I'd rather go with the pinpricks of an allergist this time. :-) The other reason I'm so blah on this thing is that when the body isn't feeling well nothing seems right. It'll pass, but what a pain in the meantime. I wonder if I have "freak" tattooed on my face this morning - no one wants to sit next to me on the bus. :-P Oh well, stand then! ... later that day ... Thank heavens for administrative leave and holidays. :-) They let us off early, so I'm headed out to RE's place early tonight. Hooray! Oh, and I picked up the $100 replacement custom clip-on sunglasses that I had lost a couple of months ago. Ouch! Hurts the wallet, but the eyes are thanking me. ArchivesRan 20 min in the COLD in RCP
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Entry the Hundred and Eighty Fourth23 November 2000 Three/Gin Spent the previous evening with RE and Doug. It has been so much fun to grow a relationship with two other people. Snuggling on the couch with one of us in the middle is great. Double-teaming on the third is good too (even if you're the target of it). Laying in bed, in the middle, a cock in either hand... Sublime. The dynamics are interesting to watch, too. Seeing one watching the other, seeing both watching me, or two of us watching the third, or everyone watching someone different. Admittedly, there are things to get used to - like sleep patterns. It's difficult enough synching to one person's sleep patterns. Add a third and you risk going nuts until you're all used to each other. ... Turkey day was successfully navigated, even if I was late (see the sleep comment above *grin*). The casserole turned out really well, the rest of the food was good, too, and even better, my stomach is doing okay, despite the dairy content of the dishes that were served (including my own). Now, I did pop like six pills over the course of the afternoon, but hey. ;-) I also sucked down multiple gin and tonics. I had forgotten about gin. I may look into this replacing my normal bourbon and coke since I want to get rid of caffeine from my diet. *grin* They were fun, and I think I cut in enough tonic over the course of the afternoon (and enough water when I got home this evening!) that I've felt fine with it. Too cool. ArchivesNo Run, No Gym
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Entry the Hundred and Eighty Fifth24 November 2000 Slower 00/11/24 8:07 a.m. I truly hope today is going to be slow. If at all possible I want to try and do some job search stuff. Perhaps having today to look things up with few supervisors will help. :-) ... Found out this morning that it's the tonic water I'm allergic to, not the vodka. Had multiple gin and tonics yesterday and am now covered in lovely bright red spots! I'm glad I know, now I can avoid the tonic water and go back to vodka drinks. ;-) The bus this morning is the talking variety (audible announcements of each stop and whether a stop has been requested) and it's extremely annoying. Normally they're fine, but for some reason this one is announcing all the stops twice. Stupid bus. A random thought Friday, it seems. ... 00/11/24 5:36 p.m. Today was so, well, unproductive. No, not true. I did finally write this month's Collaboration about sex appeal, and I blogged, and I cleaned out my email inbox, and I got some actual work done, too. So not a total waste of time, but damn near close to it. Archives25 Min on the exercise bike
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Entry the Hundred and Eighty Sixth25 November 2000 Forget Hairshirts... Who needs hairshirts for penance? Just give me a nice, cold autumn rainstorm and the crazy desire to go running! After suffering through mild caffeine withdrawal this morning, combined with a huge desire to see some sunlight (which was not forthcoming at all today), I finally got off my ass and decided to go running. Checked the outside temps (41, with windchill 31, about 6-0 or -1 centigrade), they looked doable with shorts and a good running top plus a light t-shirt, so as I downloaded upgrades to various pieces of software off the web, I slowly got dressed for a trip outside. Decided since tomorrow looked like it'd be rainy, too, that I'd go ahead and do my long run for the week today rather than wait. Headed outside, then came right back inside. Despite only looking wet outside it was, in fact, raining. Ick. So I came back in to grab a hat to keep it off my glasses and went right back outside. Threaded my way carefully down to the park, watching to make sure this was not, in fact, freezing rain, which would have meant no matter how much I wanted to run I would've taken my little butt up to the exercise room and hopped on a treadmill or exercise bike. Wasn't, so when I reached the bottom of the hill I started out. There is nothing so motivating as a good, cold rain to make you run nice and fast! That and a lack of gloves because you know you'll be warm when the blood flow hits in a good seven or so minutes, so can we please hurry up and get to that point so our hands stop feeling cold? As you run in the cold, autumn rain, all of the horrible things that have happened this week somehow seem to be much diminished. Slights you received, email you didn't, things you didn't get to, it all fades into the background and you merely focus on how bloody cold it is outside, and how grateful you are that you own the proper equipment to run under these conditions (well, maybe you're grateful - maybe you're just masochistic). Went out through the zoo, passed a couple other dedicated runners (all of whom seemed to have nice rain suits on, except me...), had the crap scared out of me by a cyclist who (thoughtfully) announced that he was going to pass while I was on a particularly deserted stretch of creek-front trail, warmed up eventually and got back, thoroughly soaked. This is why one does not only wear cotton (or at all) - the fake fabrics shed water like nobody's business, whereas the cotton T I wore to make sure I was visible in the gloom outside was heavy as all hell. One of these days I'll replace 'em. One of these days. So, run accomplished, mood uplifted mightily, body pumped and feeling much better for the experience. Thank heavens for a good, cold autumn rain. Archives40 Min Running in the Rain
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Entry the Hundred and Eighty Seventh26 November 2000 Caffeine/Play As part of what I'm doing to take charge of my stomach I am eliminating caffeine from my diet. No coffee, no tea, no soda, no chocolate. Not that any of those are necessities in my life; hell, I can't eat most chocolate anyway because of the milk content. It's going to be a pain in the ass, however, weaning myself off the stuff. It's an extremely addictive drug, and I've been hooked for at least the last ten years with very few interludes. As I read more about the stuff, though, I cannot help but come to the conclusion that I don't need it. It's affecting my sleep patterns, it affects my moods, it's possibly affecting my gastrointestinal system, and I just don't need that. I don't expect to become an anti-caffeine activist, that certainly has not been the case with other drugs I eschew. Just because it's not right for me doesn't mean I will give you holy hell over your own use of the stuff. All I ask is that you not give me a bunch of shit about not wanting this chemical in my body any longer, okay? ... Went to a musical with Lawrence tonight, "Play On" at the Arena Stage. It combines the music of Duke Ellington with Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. I know, it sounds strange, but it worked really well, and was a lot of fun. I'm glad we went. ... Enough for now. I need some sleep so I can run tomorrow (I hope!). ArchivesNo Run, No Gym
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Entry the Hundred and Eighty Eighth29 November 2000 So far, so good Living caffeine free has been okay thus far. Two days without any in my system at all and no withdrawal symptoms. Thank heavens! I've been through caffeine withdrawal before and it sucks big time. Headaches akin to migraines as your blood vessels suddenly open up after having been constricted for so long under the influence of the caffeine. Whee. But none of that this time. Much better. In the meantime, I've finally gotten off my ass and started making phone calls and sending out my resume. I will get a job, hopefully before February. It remains to be seen how quickly I can do this, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I want out of the public sector so fiercely it's not even funny. I'll get there, now that I'm finally moving along. ArchivesNo Run, No Gym
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