At my last job I used to have this little routine. Someone would come into my office, frantic, saying something to the effect of, “Moose, I need help!” to which I would reply, “Well, my degree is in law, not psychology, but I’ll do my best…”
It usually slowed them down long enough to take some of the edge off the “ZOMGWTF!” attitude.
Today’s been one of those days. Everything has been ZOMGWTF!!! in intensity. And the one office still has not learned the phrase “admission against interest.” I swear, the brain needs to engage before the mouth. Or fingers.