Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

So, BC and I had a talk yesterday.

Earlier in the week I had sent him an email telling him that as we’ve been dating now for almost three months I thought it might be a good idea to sit down and talk about our shared expectations about where the relationship was heading. He agreed, and so we decided we’d sit down on Saturday and have A Talk.

The day got going a bit late for both of us, him with a run in the morning and me with a bike ride with a friend, so we didn’t manage to get together until late afternoon. He came over, and we chatted casually for a bit, while we both seemed to work up the courage to start discussing what we were looking for. Finally I took the plunge.

I discussed some of what my relationship model has been for the past not-quite-a-decade since I moved into DC in 1999, how I’ve consciously sought open relationships, and how that was important to me. Then I looked him in the eye and told him I wanted to date him, and only him, and to have sex with him, and only him, at least on my side of things, if that was something to which he was amenable.

To say that he was surprised would be an understatement of immense proportions; shocked would be a good way to express his first reaction. That was what he had wanted as well, but he had been steeling himself for most of the week to hear something else, given my normal relationship model (we’d had some previous conversations about dating in the past). So when I told him that I wanted a monogamous relationship, though not in those words, it wasn’t what he’d prepped himself to hear.

Many hugs and a lot of silly grins and cuddling followed. We managed not to cry, barely, which was good (though tears wouldn’t have been inappropriate, I suppose). This is a big thing, and a big change, but it’s where I am now. I’m still just amazed at how right this has been, and how well we’ve meshed, physically and socially. I did warn him that people were going to wonder what he’s done to me, since this is very out of character for me since being in DC. He assured me he could handle it.

So, monogamy, then, for the first time in quite a long time. I’m ready for it, and looking forward to it.

BC: So, what should we watch?
Me: Ooh, I know, let’s watch Barbarella, Queen of the Galaxy!
BC: *skeptical look* You know, I usually require that the movies I watch have stars in them…
Me: But, but, it’s got a star in it! Jane Fonda’s in it!

It’s dangerous being home with a new(ish) cookbook, a lot of time, and the desire to cook something. I think I went a little nuts about dinner for BC tomorrow. Tomato salad’s done and marinating overnight, and there’s a coffee granita in the freezer and chocolate espresso balls in the fridge. The entree is fairly simple to put together tomorrow night over pasta. Should be a good meal, though I am disappointed my oven’s not reliable enough to bake bread or I’d have done that, too.

So, why home? Because my newbies ran their goal race yesterday up in NJ, and I wanted the extra day for recovery from traveling. It was a fantastic time, everyone finished, and we continued the tradition from last year of one of ours being the last finisher on the course, with yours truly meeting them on the other side of the finish line with their medal.

Glad I took the extra recovery day, it was nice not to have to get up at o-dark-thirty this morning, as I had the previous two days, nice to get in a long run on a Monday, and nice to get out to the grocery store while it was still relatively quiet. Should’ve gone swimming, too, but one can’t do everything. Started the write up for the ride the previous weekend, but not done yet. Have to get that up this week, but not tonight. For now it’s off to bed so I can ride in the morning.

I can’t stop thinking about him.

We spent almost the entire weekend together. We hung out with friends. We crashed at someone’s house. We went to breakfast at 1 pm. We went to the movies. We cuddled. We explored each other.

I turned down an offer from another hot guy tonight. I couldn’t imagine not being with him.

I’m obsessed. And I get to see him tomorrow, maybe, then not at all for at least a week.

This is so odd for me. I get into someone, but not this into someone. Not to the exclusion of all others. This is Mr. Polyamory. This is the guy who can’t seem to settle down. This is someone who’s defined by the spectacular failure of the first long-term monogamous relationship. Who doesn’t settle. And yet I can’t stop thinking about him.

Hell, I watch pr0n and my first though now is, “I’d like to be doing that with him.”

It’s unnatural.

And I love it.

Practice swim with my newbies this morning and two local coaches. Headed out to Sandy Point early to get in the swim before it got too hot. We swam, off and on, for about an hour, practicing swimming in the swells and going around the buoys set out to mark off the swimming area. It was very helpful to get out there, and I’m glad we do this.

This was the first time I’d hauled out the wet suit since last year. I was a bit worried
about getting into it, since it had been a little over a year since I’d used it. It fit just fine, no worries there. Whew. It was warm out – the wet suit wasn’t strictly necessary (borderline water temps for using it), but I wanted the practice in it. In the water it was fine, it was standing around listening to the coach that was warm.

Got the drink bracket installed on the bike this afternoon. That definitely makes it a lot easier to mount the water bottle on the bike (much, much easier than the rubber bands – well worth the $10). I’m hopeful this’ll encourage me to drink more water while out riding.

Mostly recovered from the work week as ‘acting supervisor.’ It was relatively quiet, and I’m glad nothing big was needed. I think it cemented quite firmly that I’m not quite ready to be a supervisor. I’m a specialist, I do my job relatively well, and I’m not ready to start herding other cats. At least, though, we know I can do it if needed when my team leader needs to go out of town.

Off to a party with BC this afternoon, then another long ride tomorrow to try out the water bottle before next week. I should run at some point, too, but I suspect that’ll be on hold until after the Food & Friends ride.

The natives are restless tonight. It’s the usual pre-July 4th firecracker week here in DC and they’ve been going off sporadically all night. My favorite was just a few minutes ago, an explosion so loud that I lost hearing for a couple of seconds, even here inside my apartment (with the windows open). I can only imagine what it did to the kids who set it off.

BC’s birthday was Friday, and some space he had tried to get for a blackjack night to celebrate on Saturday fell through so I hosted it here. I’m happy to report that the table easily seats eight. ‘Twas a fun time, and a good way to celebrate the birthday in a nice, low-key manner.

Needless to say, though, we didn’t get up until sometime around noon today.

Once we finally got going it was time for some shopping at the Macy’s sale downtown. ‘Twas fun to shop with him, he’s got good taste. Unfortunately I wasn’t looking for much in the way of fun stuff, more like socks and dress pants and the like. Regardless, the target items were found, and we wandered around a bit more downtown before heading back here for a bad movie and some cuddle time.

Should be an interesting week ahead. I’m acting team leader for my team this week, which seems (from the report from this past week’s acting team leader) to be a lot of getting tons of emails from our boss and forwarding them on for assignment. I know there are other things, but that seemed to be the most onerous part. Thankfully one of our main ethics attorneys will be there to consult (my team leader’s main experience is in ethics work), since I know little to nothing about advising folks on the federal ethics statutes and regs.

Clearly feeling more than a little bit of volunteer burnout today. I know it’ll pass, but at the moment I could take the three organizations I’m currently doing work for and happily pitch them all directly into the Potomac. I think this always happens the days I have meetings at the cult co-op. Those can be so incredibly contentious, over the smallest things, that they’re frequently quite unpleasant to sit through. Makes me wish I had already picked up how to knit, as at least that could occupy my hands while I listened to them drone on.

Got to see BC last night for dinner and a horror flick. Whoever set up the arms at the theater so they could be pulled up between the seats and out of the way is a genius, as that made cuddling during the movie all the better.

And to whoever decided to start the as-yet-unreleased new Nicole Kidman flick with images of a space shuttle breaking up on reentry, may you die a horrible, painful death. Like any of us needed to see that happening again. Watching the first shuttle accident live on TV in Junior High was bad enough, having to help with post-cleanup efforts from the second one in the early 2000s was worse. Seeing it on the screen was not pleasant. So, yeah, thanks for the memories, asshat.

Oh, and the smell of pot and incense is back. I’ve placed a call with the local police lieutenant to see if they can do anything about it if I report the smell when it’s back. Not entirely hopeful, but wanted to know my options there. I’ve had it with these folks, and with this smell.

A vignette from the weekend, completely out of context:

Me: This is really fun.
BC: I’ve got no complaints.
Me: Good, ’cause if you did I’ve got a ball gag over there that would stop that right quick.
*pause, look at each other*
*both of us dissolve into giggles*

So, got a call today that the other dresser had arrived at the store. They were able to deliver it this evening, but not to assemble it but could come back to assemble it Saturday. Ha. No, thanks, just deliver it and I’ll assemble it. And you know, it was really easy to assemble, especially if you’ve ever put anything together by Ikea. Basic screws with those little turn-tighteners all over, plus putting on the rails for the drawers. The drawers themselves were fully assembled in their respective boxes, meaning only the frame had to be put together. Even with just one person, it was a snap.

Of course it helps that I have a decent electric screwdriver/drill, too.

So now all my clothes are put away. Huzzah. Still need to figure out the exact arrangement of the stuff in there, but that’s not a big deal. I’m just glad to have both pieces in and my clean clothes put away.

Tomorrow I pop up to my YWCA to (I hope) finalize the arrangements to join the Masters’ Swimming program there. Depends on whether I find the acquatics director or not. Might have to pop up there during the day, perhaps at lunch, in order to catch him in.

Get to see the crush on Saturday. I suppose I can give him initials now, since this seems to be here for the nonce. Still crushing. Still all silly. Still loving it. So we’ll call him BC. Really looking forward to more time with him. We just seem to fit well together. Not finishing one another’s sentences, and enough differences to keep things interesting, but enough commonalities (it so helps that he’s also a runner) to get along really well.

Got up, no exercise planned for the morning, so I got down to the dry cleaners, picked up shirts, dropped off two pair of pants to get hemmed (finally hemming the Nasty Pig jeans I got at MAL), came back, made coffee, went down to the office to check some folders for the cult co-op, then up to get ready to head to work.

Work was work. No biggie.

Swam after work. Was trying to concentrate on relaxing in the water, paying attention to form, but not speed. That was going well until about half to two-thirds of the way through the swim when some guy did a cannonball into the lane beside me. Thankfully I was resting at the edge, but that was a bit of a shock. Most folks are polite and just slip into the end of the pool. He then proceeded to see if he could single-handedly recreate water conditions on the Chesapeake Bay. During a wind storm. Not the most graceful swimmer I’ve ever seen. I kept wanting to point out that you’re supposed to slip your hand into the water, not slap the top of the pool on your way in, but instead tried to continue concentrating on the zen feeling. It mostly worked, despite slappy in the next lane. Overall a good swim.

Still nicely burnt from this weekend’s biking and running. Both Saturday and Sunday I got started late, so was out in way more sun than I usually am, with the usual results. It’s cute – I have a classic farmer’s tan half-way down the upper arm from the bike ride, then a separate set of lines on the shoulders where I wore a tank-style shirt to run on Sunday. Not too bad, save for carrying the bike bag to work and the gym today. Ouch.
A brief bit of laundry tonight, and getting stuff ready for the ride tomorrow.

The crush is still, well, just awesome. We’re both still all googly-eyed and silly and all of that and it’s quite fun. We just seem to fit well together. I think I’ve seen more movies in the theater in the past couple months now than I’ve seen that way in years.
Tomorrow it’s off to Dupont for the usual hair cut, then up to Adams Morgan to put bikes together with the club. Some folks are running a kids’ triathlon camp this summer for DC Parks and Rec and we got a bunch of bikes donated for it, so we’re getting together to assemble the bikes for the kids. Should be fun.