Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

One more day left in the fiscal year. Thank heavens. With the impending doom coming (not, though it seems like impending doom from their attitudes), our program offices are increasingly nuts. And we’re pushing back just as hard. See, this is where attorney arrogance comes from – dealing with clients who insist on doing things which are, to legal minds, incredibly stupid.

Ugh.

The head cold stuck around through the weekend and my grandparents’ 70th wedding anniversary party. It’s still here, not quite going away yet. I suspect the driving Saturday and Monday and the resultant dehydration didn’t help any. It was great to see lots of family, cousins I haven’t seen in years, but was also good to get back to my routine today. I’ve been trying to look at my eating habits, and I counted it as a net gain that I didn’t gain any weight while eating out with the parents. Because eating this weekend was a mess, including far too much cake.

Still having fun flirting with Mike. This cold better be well done and gone by the time I get up there, as this is not how I would like to spend the limited time I get with him, with a sore throat and a drippy nose. In the meantime, I need to go shopping this weekend for more clothes before I head up (and in general).

And now I’m babbling, so it’s time for me to crash.

What is it about traveling that always throws my system off? My hands are covered in eczema from something, likely the stress of travel and not drinking nearly enough water. Driving a ton more today, down to North Carolina to visit my grandparents and back, probably didn’t help any.

The family is doing okay, and it’s been a pleasant visit all told. My brother didn’t make it down with the younger two nieces, but I did get to see the eldest niece and give her a hard time (as well as an antique pendant for her birthday). Picked up a set of mid-century import china I’ve had my eyes on for the past 3-4 years now (dragons!), and I’m also hauling back a mounted set of moose antlers from my grandfather (a moose he evidently hunted himself in Canada some many, many years ago). Where I’m going to hang the antlers is a whole other question, but at least they fit in the back of the mini to haul back to DC. Going to have to figure out how to clean and preserve them, too – they’re a tad dusty and dry from years in an attic.

Managed to avoid having to plant walnut trees by delaying the trip until mother’s day. Sneaky, but smart. Though I’ve also missed the last good weekend to get in long training before the race next Sunday. So, I’ll just have to wing it on the 17th. I know how to do it, I know I can do all three events separately, and I’ve done this race before, so I’ll finish, but it ain’t gonna be pretty.

Had some fun on the dating front, but I’m not going into it yet. Too early to tell where it’s going, if anywhere, so aside from noting that something is happening, I’m going to leave it at that.

While last week was clearly allergies, this week feels like I’m fighting off a head cold. Sneezes, stuffy, etc. Did some last minute cleaning this evening while talking to a cousin who’s coming to town tomorrow with her hubby, and then with Richard, and then the new guy, and I probably shouldn’t have attempted any dusting while I have a semi-stuffy nose. It definitely didn’t help the nose. I did find some afrin in the cabinet while looking for my old staples of cold medications – that was a year expired. I generally manage my allergies better these days, with the result that I don’t get nearly the amount of head colds I used to, so I don’t have to keep what used to be my usual standbys on hand any more.

Work’s been semi-quiet, with passover, easter, and spring break sapping much of the work force. Did get one WTF question this evening that made me question the sanity of certain higher managers, but we’ll look into it. I find myself muttering the words “LBS” to my fellow lawyers a lot these days (“Legal, But Stupid”). It’s a useful standard to have for such situations. Not that one phrases it thus to the clients (diplomacy counts, after all), but it is useful nonetheless.

My brother is visiting for the next couple of days, just got in this evening. I have him plopped in front of the Xbox and Bioshock at the moment. Should prove to be an interesting visit.

Despite my best efforts to be a complete and utter slug today, I did actually manage to get something done today, namely laundry. Otherwise I called in to work because I hadn’t really slept, and then crashed until noonish to catch up on sleep. Then there was Dead Space. Lots and lots of Dead Space. I actually beat the game once through just now (started it Saturday; easy mode), and I’m trying to decide how much more I’ll play in the near future to max out achievements. Sounds like a good inauguration day activity (when not watching the events, that is).

Called the SIL this evening, no word back tonight, so I’ll pester again tomorrow. I can tell I’m still on edge because my poor fingers have been gnawed down to nubs (I bite my nails/cuticles when I’m upset). Perhaps throwing myself back into work tomorrow will help assuage some of this, and I’m hoping my SIL will have better news about my brother (and their efforts to clean the apartment). Who knows?

Still need to organize some shelving I picked up on my way home (yay Ikea!) which looks pretty good, but needs to have some sense of what-goes-where on it. It’s given me an idea for the entertainment stuff as well, which might not need to be as large as I’d assumed before. We shall see. But first tomorrow evening is prep work for the new triathlete program for this year. We’re getting off to a slightly later start, and I’m hopeful this will help cut out some of our volunteer burnout from previous years.

Family can be a lot of trouble.

In brief summary, I spent the last couple of days down in Tidewater visiting my brother’s family, checking on them in the wake of another suicide attempt by my brother. What I discovered was literally a huge mess. The apartment was a disaster area, clothes everywhere, toys everywhere, trash everywhere. It looked like the inside of a white trash trailer.

(By way of background, my brother (31), sister-in-law (31), her twin sister (31), my two younger nieces (2.75, 1.5) and the twin’s son (8) all live in this 2 story apartment. My brother is currently in a mental health facility after Wednesday morning’s attempt.)

I did help get them started on cleaning things up, and I hopefully got them started on working on their bills in a meaningful way. I was not about to clean their dishes for them, though – both sinks were full, and there were more piled up on the table and stovetop. They were late on rent, they were late on the one car payment (which I did pay), and late on a storage unit (which I also paid).

Last night I sat down with two women and apologized for being blunt, but just looked at them and told them they were going to have to be adults, and the house and their finances as they were now was not how adults lived. Had I been a social worker when I came in on Thursday they would not have the kids. They have to get in the habit of putting things away immediately, and they have to take care of bills and mail ASAP. The younger girl keeps getting ear infections; I pointed out that with food trash all over the house, there was a good chance that was contributing to the kids getting sick. My brother admitted when we visited Thursday night that the mess in the house was a trigger for his depression (which the SIL heard, and I reemphasized a couple of times over the weekend). Hopefully coming from me it will get through to them, because heaven knows it hasn’t gotten through coming from either set of parents.

And my parents have said that if they don’t get this stuff cleaned up and soon that they’re going to have a talk with her parents and will consider taking action jointly to protect the nieces.

I’ll do some follow up with them over the next few weeks to see how they’re doing with bills and the cleaning. As I told them, they’ve got to get their act together and act like adults, or their situation is never going to get better, and it might get much, much worse.

I came home today, did some stuff around my own apartment, but I’m just wiped out emotionally tonight.

I thought I’d expand some on the vacation thing and why this is such an unusual occurrence for me.

Growing up, we never took vacations. I can remember a grand total of two that we did when I was a kid (outside of summer camp) – a trip to Disney World when I turned seven, and a month on the road in an RV going to and from New Mexico. In both cases the travel was combined personal and business travel for Dad. The Orlando trip was actually to attend a convention he was going to for work (which happened to coincide with our two birthdays in early October), and the trip to NM was one week getting to Albuquerque, a week in Albuquerque for a convention for Dad (while Mom, my brother and I took day trips around the state), a week at the big boy scout camp in northern NM so my parents could take adult leader training while I hiked the trails and my brother did cub scount stuff, and a week to get home (that was also the trip when Mom finally quit smoking for good).

But that’s really it, again, outside of summer camp with the scouts. We just weren’t a vacation-going family. Not entirely sure why, but we just didn’t take them.

Add to that, once I got out and started working (at the total exclusion of school, that is), I was an intern with a low salary and a crushing amount of student loan debt. Even after paying on these beasts for a decade now, and paying off a couple of them entirely, I still have six figures worth of education debt that I have to service each month. So when I did get out of school, there wasn’t really any excess cash there that was available for “frivolous” things like vacations. Plus the first couple years as a fed they don’t give you a ton of annual leave (until you hit your 3rd year anniversary, where it goes up considerably), so there wasn’t a lot of that available, either. Leave got used to go see relatives for the usual holiday obligations, or on needed errands around town. But going to see relatives is a poor substitute for a vacation (no offense, Mom & Dad!).

Then factor in that I’ve made a nice little niche practice out of doing appropriations law, which is good in that I’m necessary enough to be fairly layoff-proof, but at the same time it means they’re reluctant to let me go for long periods of time because no one else at work does this type of law, so if I’m not there, they tend to stumble hard. This is why I’m not travelling for the inauguration – the closest thing I have to a backup at work will be out on maternity leave sometime close to the inauguration (she’s “due” the day before), so my supervisors had something of a panic attack when I suggested I didn’t want to be here.

Now I’m finally in a place in terms of leave availability (I’m carrying over 80 hours into 2009, plus what I’ll earn over the year) and cash availability (those loans are still there, but are a much smaller percentage of my monthly income, thanks to directed spending on the more expensive ones, and a steady stream of promotions) that I feel like I can take a real, honest-to-heavens vacation. So I am, finally.

Which is all background on why I’m going to be gushing about this for some time to come, and why my planned trip in June/July is so unusual for me. I still can’t quite believe that work gave me over two full weeks of leave at one time; I think I managed to catch my supervisor in the holiday mood with the request and before she had a chance to think about all the “might-be-happenings” while I’m gone (and I fully intend to ignore the work blackberry during this period).

Dear Parental Units,

I’m taking a real, honest-to-heavens vacation in 2009, leave done been requested & approved, so I’m set. I will be gone & out of touch from 19 June 2009 to 5 July 2009. I think, outside of going to Ironman Canada with JT in 1999, that this is the first actual non-me-doing-a-race-or-other-family-related vacation that I’ve taken ever. So, just letting y’all know that I’ll be out of touch for those 2+ weeks for planning purposes.

Moose

I find it amusing that I’ve avoided holiday music all year (since I don’t really shop in malls or big retails stores), but couldn’t escape it tonight while eating at a local Chinese restaurant.

A last minute surge in knitting yesterday paid off – all the projects I needed done by the holiday are now done. Hopefully my secretary at work will enjoy the fingerless gloves I made for her. (You can see them here and here) Sadly, my next big project will be a shedir cap for a co-worker of mine who has an advanced case of uterine cancer (stage 3c). We’re not sure when she’ll start the chemo, but it won’t be long. Picked up yarn for it on Saturday, a couple of colors (she only specified “anything but pink”).

Health update: The foot is still improving slowly, but is definitely better than it has been. Still not up for running, but not nearly as painful as it had been. The PA is completely healed again, no pain whatsoever. Huzzah – no more 2 am rude awakenings.

Date from heck on Wednesday of this past week. One of those “why do I bother with this whole thing?” kind of dates. Yuck. Leering at me over dinner? Oy.

My family neglected to give me my brother’s new address, so their present (a nice check) will be late. Oh well. My parents, on the other hand, are a bit more tech-savvy, so their wish lists were updated with the addy for the RV park where they are in Florida.

Started the planning process for next year’s newbie program for the tri club. Good group of volunteers, and I think this is going to go well.

Nice night with friends planned for tomorrow, and a quiet two days after that. Hosting Kelrick and his bf Kenny at some point in there on their way up to NYC. Will be good to see Kelrick, and meet Kenny.

Work approved the two weeks off in late June/early July, so I’m set to go to Comrades this next year. Dean has thoughtfully offered his services as host in the periods around when I’m supposed to be at the retreat, so I will be spending time on either side of it in the Bay area, with lots of time to catch up with folks there.

WTF? Hot lawyers, and they’re all straight, and married, and that’s the story of my life.

Cookout at my friend L’s place in SE DC with her and her husband and their friends from the DOD. She’s one of 2 people, perhaps three that I’ve stayed in touch with from undergrad. It was good to see them both and their friends, and I enjoyed seeing them all.

I swear, I can’t get my father’s words out of my head, “We wish your attention span were longer.” That was so cutting a comment, and felt so true. Seeing people my age with kids 7 and up didn’t help. It would likely be easier if I didn’t get along with kids so well, either. I do sort of miss that, even if I don’t particularly want to raise children of my own. I wish I were closer to my nieces. i do miss seeing more of them as they grow up.