Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

I had been thinking about gaming systems, but if my obsession behavior the past two days is any indication of how it would be if I got one, I really, really should not. I picked up the new Zelda game for the DS, and it’s been absolutely fantastic. Some of the elements are a bit slow, but for the vast majority of the game I think they nailed it for my gaming likes. So much so that I’ve been up far, far too late the past two nights playing the game. Only had to revert to guides twice, which is a good sign for me.

Big thanks to the folks who came out on Friday, I had a marvelous time, and it was good to see people. That was precisely the b’day celebration I needed – low key and fun chatting and watching folks chat.

My eldest niece and her mother popped up today to play tourist, so we wandered through the Mall and a few museums. She absolutely loved the Metro. It’s a shame Air & Space is still so disorganized and doesn’t have more hands-on stuff for kids – that’s what she stopped at whenever we were in an exhibit, the ‘I can play with this’ things. She also spent most of the day talking about going to City Lights, my now former favorite Chinese restaurant in town.

The service was, in a word, atrocious tonight. They were busy, that much was readily apparent, but that’s no excuse. No one came by to check on drinks. My niece managed to down her water and her soda fairly early, and even after I specifically asked a server to get her a refill of her soda (even handing him the glass), it never came back. Then I couldn’t manage to flag anyone down because they were all flying by so quickly. The one guy I did finally catch was one of their busboys whose English was somewhat lacking, and unfortunately my Spanish is non-existent, but we did manage to get soda refills, at least, for the niece and her mother. To say I’m miffed would be an understatement – this is a place where the more established wait staff calls me by name, in Chinese, when I come in, so it’s not like I’ve never been there before. Hell, I was lying in bed for about 1/2 an hour just now and all I could do was dredge up much-unused vocabulary for expressing in Mandarin exactly how annoyed I was at the whole thing (and it’s amazing what ancient vocabulary can be dredged up in the service of strong emotions). As it was I did get one of the management staff before we left and let them know that this was the most dismal service I’d ever received there.

Otherwise it’s been a lovely weekend. I’m going to get my newest toy hooked up to the bike tomorrow and head out on a ride with a friend after his bike (re)fitting. Haven’t played with it yet, so this is the inaugural run. Should be interesting to see the data once I’m done.

My brother has all the social skills of your average slug.

He’s doing okay, and is out of the in-patient thing, but I think he’s determined to be as much of a little shit as he possibly can to the rest of the family, especially his wife. His life to mess up, but it’s tempting to strangle him from this distance.

Went through some rough stuff there with it, mentally. Took a couple days off work, went in late once or twice. Work was very understanding, despite this being the end of the fiscal year. Am doing much better now, and thank you for the good wishes.

Trying to get back into a groove with exercise. After the half last month, well, I just sort of stopped. At least nothing normal or in any sort of pattern or habit. Been trying to decide what it is I want of the off-season, and what I want for next year. Mostly I think what I need is some fat loss (so much easier to run without extra dead weight) and some overall strength training for the joints, as well as some concentrated core training.

Which would be better if I was more into strength training and crunches/pilates, but you do what you have to do, especially when you need to train to your weaknesses. I’m also going to do a reduced season next year. I know there’s at least 2 runs I want to do in the spring, but I can’t think of any triathlons that are just screaming for me to do them at this point. I may do two shorter seasons next year, a spring and fall season, with a break in between to get my groove back. This year was just too long to keep up.

Did get in a run this evening. Heart rate was, well, disgusting, and my foot pod seems to hate me in the opposite direction now (before it was registering too far, now not far enough – it claimed my 4 mile run was 3 miles tonight; normally it claims it’s 4.5). But it felt good to get out there again.

I think the worst part about dealing with my brother this time around is how helpless I feel this time.

My parents are in Iowa, on the way back from South Dakota, but won’t get back for two more weeks, so they’re not there to help him. My sister-in-law has an injured leg from a car accident, plus my two youngest nieces (18 and 4 months old), and, well, she’s not the most mature 29 y/o I’ve ever met. I’d go down, but there’s nothing I can do as long as he’s in the institution, where we hope he’ll stay for a good 30 days this time. It’s an involuntary commitment this time, so we’re hopeful it’ll have more lasting effects.

I don’t have the closest relationship with my family, due partially to distance. But it’s still a mess to feel so helpless up here.

Happy hour started at 3 today.

Let’s recap this week:

• Didn’t sleep well from allergy issues.
• BC’s car window got smashed outside my co-op.
• iPhone locked up while running late to work so couldn’t call in to let them know.
• 2nd to last week of the federal fiscal year (my crunch time at work).
• Richard lost one of his best friends to cancer.
• My brother attempted, not for the first time, to kill himself Thursday morning, and is now institutionalized.
• A friend succumbed to leukemia yesterday, despite signs he was getting better.

This after my family lost another friend to breast cancer a couple weeks ago (again, after she was seeming to do better), and one of Mom’s close friends had to deal with a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment earlier this year. Mom herself is a breast cancer survivor, and might be facing some more surgery because of scar tissue related to her previous surgeries (no mastectomy, but some scarring from the lumpectomies).

I’m done, I’m just done this week.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is all perfectly normal.

I’m in the period commonly known as the “taper” for my race on Sunday (as well as “recovery” from the 1/2 marathon, but that’s another insanity). It’s when athletes ramp down their training time and intensity in order to give the body time to recover and be prepped for the effort of the race. And it’s perfectly normal during such a time period to experience feelings of depression, and let down, and anxiety, and just generally “blah.”

But knowing that it’s normal doesn’t make it any less annoying. Or make me any less grumpy.

But anyway.

So, I ran this little race last Sunday. The weather was near-perfect, with the start in the high 60s and slightly overcast. The boardwalk portion (a.k.a. the last two miles) was quite sunny and warm, however. Thankfully they had misting stations set up all down the thing, so one could run through the water for a quick cool-off. I tried to follow my heart rate for the run, knowing where my limits are for taking in nutrition, and trying to keep it lower for the first half. Mostly did okay with that, but definitely was slowing down by the end. Not nearly as much walking as the last time, though. Pretty much only walked twice (on the boardwalk) aside from the aid stations.

Oh, and lesson learned – carry water with me (like I did back in April). I can sip slowly when I want to, and not when they decide to put up a station, and I don’t have to gulp water down periodically, which was not pleasant. The water bottle stays with me for the upcoming race.

The bands were good this year, as they were the last time I ran this course in 2003. I finished faster (2:32:11) than the last time I ran it here (2:49:12), though slower than my overall best 1/2 (2:15:07). I wasn’t trying to kill myself, since I have another race (with another 1/2 marathon) a week after this one, though, so it was all good. I do recommend this race. It’s gotten bigger in terms of number of participants, but it’s still a fun course to run, relatively flat, and having a band every mile or so is definitely the way to run 13.1 miles.

BC and his sister also ran it and did well, with him at 2:20 and her at 2:12.

We had a perfect hotel for it, right at the end of the strip, and right where you got out of all the madness of the finish chute. Ocean views, and close enough to hear the stage but not so close that it was obnoxious when we closed the door to the balcony.

It was good to get a vacation weekend away with BC and friends. We did end up missing the concert Sunday night because dinner took for-e-ver, but that’s not unusual with holiday weekends in tourist spots. Not a bid deal to me, I’m not much of a fan of live music anyway, but you could tell there was some disappointment at the table when we realized how long it was taking to get food.

Since I’m originally from that area, BC got to meet my family as well, and they were out to cheer. Fun moment was BC’s sister running up to my Dad around mile 1 and asking him if he was my Dad (they hadn’t met), then BC running up behind, recognition, and her handing off a long-sleeve T for him to hold for her (she’d worn it to the start line). Dad’s version was more fun (“Suddenly this attractive young woman ran up to me off the course and asked if I was your father…”), but I can’t tell it as well as he could.

I do have to say, I’m glad the race season is almost over for me. One more month, four more races (1/2 iron, 5k, 5 miler, sprint tri), and that’s it. I need some down time after this year’s frenetic pace. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed all the racing, but I’m ready for a break.

My niece, A, is thoroughly excited about tomorrow’s race, but right now Uncle Moose is Uncle Meanie; I made her go brush her teeth.

Got down to Richmond without incident in the big, black Dodge Earth Destroyer 2007 (aka a Nitro, I think) that I rented for the occasion. Did lots of thinking about what type of car I’d actually get if I had to get one, and came to the conclusion that I’m thankful I don’t need one on a regular basis.

Packet pickup went well and was pretty easy. I saw the race official I’d met back in February who let me know about this event. We also tried to go for Chinese, but it was a buffet (ew!), so ended up down the street at a nice little Vietnamese place for tons of tofu. A is actually quite excited to have tofu these days; definitely not your normal 10 year old. My parents are currently trying a vegan diet in order to try and control Dad’s diabetes and both of their weight issues. So my brother is the sole omnivore in the immediate family at the moment.

I’m a bit worried about my bike for the race. I’m going to have to spend some time tomorrow looking at the front tire. I had my third flat in two weeks when I went to load the bike this afternoon, and I suspect something is not fitting correctly, or is otherwise rubbing the tube around the stem because the first two (I’ve not yet confirmed this with the latest flat – I just packed it flat) both had holes right near the base of the stem. Very annoying. So I’ll dig in there and see if anything’s come loose or is now rough or the like. Getting tired of replacing tubes, especially since the first one in there lasted almost a year and a half and the last two less than a week each.

Oh, I heard from my object d’crush this evening as well. He and his friends are down at Gay Days at Disney this weekend, and it sounds like they’re having a good time thus far. Was nice to get an email from him when we got settled and logged back online this evening.
We’re headed to bed now, with dusk not yet settled, because we’ve got to be up at 5:30 for the race.

The brick went well this morning. Met a couple new club members (but not new triathletes) afterwards as well, and encouraged them to come out to the next club happy hour. Based on this morning, I think I can aim for a sub-30 5k at the end, with an overall finish at under an hour and a half. We’ll see how that goes.

Heart rate was a little high, as I slept for shit. I vaguely remember hearing the phone ringing late last night, but didn’t fully awaken for it. Turns out my third niece decided to pop out a little earlier than expected last night, so just before midnight I was an uncle all over again. Always a fun thing to wake up to. Full head of black hair, very quiet (unlike the last one, who I’m told was quite active and hyper the first day), 5 lbs and change, healthy. Her mother is doing fine as well, as is my brother and assorted other family members, though with the midnight arrival they’re all a little tired this morning.

Small gay world. Just discovered multiple connections between friends old and new this evening while out at dinner with a friend. Mentioned his new roommate and it went all over from there. As I’ve said before, DC is a big city, but a small town.

Behaving tonight, despite multiple invites to go out. Did pop out to the aforementioned dinner because the friend wanted to look at bikes over on the Hill, but then biked back home to relax here and lay out stuff for the morning.

Work dumped us out about 2 hours early, after the usual rush of “OMG, this has to get done NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!!!!” stuff that always happens on the Friday before a holiday. Shocked folks by wearing jeans today (for maybe the 1/2 dozenth time in the 3+ years I’ve been there?). But got through the majority of the issues and I hope got folks settled and ready for their weekend. Even if I didn’t, da bosslady said to git, so I left.

Almost ready for the race next weekend. Have to email my parents with some last minute stuff to prep my niece, arrange for the rental car, and then I’m good to go. Should be fun.

Going back to where you grew up is not necessarily the easiest thing to do.

I’ve considered myself lucky in that ‘home’ is a short trip away (even if traffic is occasionally harsh), but not so close that my family can drop in unannounced. I’ve enjoyed that slight distance as I work out for myself how I interact with my immediate family, and frankly right at the moment I find it a bit far away.

I’m encouraging my elder (soon to be eldest) niece to take up athletics in a way I never did in school. Her birthday present this year (she turned 10 last month) was a triathlon race entry fee and a good pair of running shoes from Uncle Moose. She’s got my feet, poor dear. Overpronator (like my father, her grandfather, as well as her Uncle), so stability shoes were in order. They were less than I expected to pay (being used to adult, male prices), so a good top and shorts and socks were in order, too. I wish I could be down there to train with her, to encourage her more. Hell, she’s even willing to try tofu now, something her step mother had managed to poison her away from just a couple years ago. She really looks up to me, and it’s hard to leave knowing that.

I don’t have any other children in my life. Her baby sister is just that, a baby (turned 1 this past month), and the other niece isn’t due until June (at which point the elder niece becomes the eldest niece).

My parents are, thankfullly, taking a bit more interest in their health. They were great as race support yesterday, and do talk about the walking they’re doing, and more stuff at the Y down there now. I want them around, selfishly, and am glad they’re looking out a bit more for themselves now. I wish they’d done more earlier, but any little bit helps.

We went to brunch this morning with one of mom’s fellow teachers. She and I went to see Evita together, as well as Cats, while I was still in Jr high and high school. As she put it this morning, “When your mother told me about your lifestyle I said, ‘Duh, we went to musical theather together.'” Too funny. She hadn’t really met my Dad until Mom’s retirement, at which point she introduced herself by saying, “Hi, I used to date your son.” She’s a self-described ‘bobble-head’ now, thanks to a sick new wing of the junior high where Mom used to work. It caused some neurological problems that has her looking like she has parkinson’s, though that’s not the case. It was both hard to see her, as well as good to see her. She was a very good friend, and despite the bobbing, she’s doing well.

Which reminds me, Mom and Dad have adopted Save The Ta-Tas as their motto now. They spotted a shirt while down in Florida this past winter and had to get some of the merchandise (including stickers which are all over their cars now). Mom’s a breast cancer survivor for not quite a decade now, so is an appropriate thing to show (she loves her “My Ta-Tas are Survivors” shirt).

We did chat some about the family history as well. I thought just 2 of her 3 brothers had had prostate cancer, as well as her father, but it seems all three have had it. The third had normal PSA results, but mentioned the family thing to his doctor and sure enough, the digital exam showed cancer as well. So my early screening isn’t such a bad thing. Now if I can continue to stave off the hair loss on Mom’s side I’ll be happy (though if it shows up, the rest is gone – it’s all or nothing; I’m not doing a comb-over).

The younger niece is, unfortunately, too young yet to remember Uncle Moose. Over this next year things will cement, at which point the spoiling will begin, but I have a bit of a reprieve until language starts in earnest. She knows ‘nose’ and ‘ears’ and the difference between her own and someone else’s, but she’s not got language quite down yet. Soon, I’m sure, at which point more spoiling will become part of the order of things. Hopefully she’ll be as athletic as her big sister is (and her parents are not), which will make spoiling easy.

I’m a tad worried about Mom’s memory.

She’s been paranoid for years now about getting alzheimer’s, which I think unlikely, but she has been showing signs of “chemo brain” as she calls it (a diminishment of mental capacities after chemo). The most notable thing is that she repeats anecdotes a couple of times within the same conversation. It’s not every conversation, but it’s enough that I’ve started noticing it. Now, I’m not one to talk but so much about repeating the same story to someone, but I at least separate my tellings by a day or so. Doing it in the same conversation is a bit different, like she’s losing short term memory. Will have to discretely mention it to Dad and see if he’s noticed it as well.

Hated, hated, hated driving. It’s loud, it’s boring, and I do not see how people do it on a regular basis. I am so glad I moved a mile and a quarter from work so I can walk or bike. Multi-hour commutes just blow my mind. That’s inhumane, IMNSHO. Didn’t help that the nimrod who rented the car before me smoked in it, using the center console as the ash tray (which the rental car place missed). The only good thing there was it allowed me to ID the sweet smell that occasionally comes out of my air units – I suspect now that the previous owner might have smoked. Not a biggie, it’s not come out in a while, but it was there when I first moved in and had to run the air units.

Speaking of the air units, I’ve asked the building operations guy if there would be issues with installing some programmable thermostats in my apartment. Tired of trying to remember to adjust the heat (which means it usually stays just a trifle cool).

Picked up oodles of veggies this evening to make soup tomorrow. And oatmeal. And other stuff. This after I was too lazy to change out of the shirt I biked home in this evening (I did switch out of the tights in favor of jeans). In this weather I don’t even break a sweat biking home (it’s <10 minutes to home – downhill), and this shirt’s comfortable, so what the heck. Did sit down and pay bills, which was needed, as well as arranging for some other errands I needed to get done. Productive evening, if not the most exciting.