Dear weather, it’s April, I shouldn’t need to turn my heat on. Stop it.
Dear sinuses, I don’t have time for a cold. Stop it.
Dear allergy meds, you’re not supposed to fail me in the middle of allergy season. Stop it.
Dear work, I don’t have time to get to all the things you keep throwing my way. Stop it.
Dear upcoming race, I’m not ready for you and you’re approaching too quickly. Stop it.
Dear life in general, the whole minor annoyances thing? It’s not working for me. Stop it.
Haven’t made time to write because I’m either getting home & being a total veg because I’m wiped out from the work day or I’m going out to see friends or maybe even a date or two. Work continues to roll along at a crazy pace. I’ve given myself a big assignment that I’ve not been able to start yet because of other fires that keep popping up. It’s needed, but finding time is a challenge.
Training is almost non-existent at this point. I’m swimming, but with the colder temps I’ve not gotten out to bike in the mornings and I’m unmotivated to haul the trainer back out. It’s not supposed to be this bloody cold in late Smarch in DC, damn it.
Much has also been on my mind about dating and the extent to which one compromises versus standing firm. After BC there are some things I consider to be vital to my well being which are not precisely the norm (Body Electric comes to mind), and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about those things and how and when to introduce them. With a couple guys I can tell there are distict differences in relationship styles that I don’t think will ultimately be compatible. And how does one express that and not sound cliché?
The cult co-op’s annual meeting wasn’t so bad. The usual suspects got up and spouted their insanties, and we got through it without a lot of other nonsense. Of course, they started half an hour late, and we barely had quorum, but hey. I did finish a baby sock, got back to the apartment all excited about it, only to realize that when I did the first one I must’ve skipped a step (a few plain knitted rows) because the original is much shorter in the leg than the one I just finished. Crap. I so fail at reading directions sometimes. So much for giving the co-worker with the new baby a pair of baby socks next week.
Did manage to sleep fairly well last night, bourbon notwithstanding. I think it helped that it was a nice, calm, peaceful night out chatting calmly with a charming gentleman in a not-too-obnoxious bar. After we left the one that was doing drag bingo, that is.
I get to skip work entirely tomorrow in favor of my one (one) professional development activity for the year – the annual approps law update over in the legislative branch. Huzzah. Then it’s work HH, followed by club HH. I’ll have to pace myself. And drink lots of water. And take taxis. But since I am working on Friday, I’ll definitely behave as hangovers at work are teh suxors. It’s not like I’ve been bad lately anyway, as evidenced by my surprisingly higher than ever before in my ten years as a fed sick leave balance. I keep this up I might get to a higher sick leave balance than my annual leave balance, which would be a definite plus since it means I could start using sick leave for doctor’s appointments instead of annual leave, and save the “good stuff” for real vacations like this June’s.
Holy shit, it’s Tuesday evening. As in “it’s already Tuesday evening,” and also “is it only Tuesday?” all in one. The time change threw my already precarious balance with sleep and the morning meetings completely off. Add to that a host of “too much work-itis” and you have a mix that’s just been more than a bit nuts. Oh, and social and cult/co-op obligations most of the week as well.
I fully expect my candle to be completely burnt out by Saturday evening.
I will cut my participation in the cult thing short tomorrow if I still find myself in need of sleep. Won’t be able to keep functioning otherwise, and frankly I despise those things and would like as little to do with the process as possible. The folks who are most vocal at these things are batshit-crazy and best avoided under normal circumstances. And then they wonder why they can’t get more participation. Despite the advantages of desk service and on-call maintenance, it is enough to drive one away from communal living arrangements.
The boy bingo has been interesting. Did confirm something based on a friend’s post from day or so ago – I have no tolerance for the folks who lie about their age online. I’m not talking about “oops, had a birthday a month ago and forgot to update,” but rather the deliberate attempt to blur one’s identity by moving up or (more likely) down in age in some vain attempt to make one look more attractive. The last few times I’ve run across that it hasn’t been a pleasant thing, and it engenders a sense of distrust in the person and who they ultimately are under their public persona.
Following the stress of this past week, I ended up going out on Thursday to meet the regular crew at JR’s, then on Friday, in a convoluted fashion, I ended up at the new Ziegfield’s/Secrets. Two late nights, and even without drinking terribly much, it was more of that sort of stress than I’m used to. It was fun, but I don’t see how some guys do that week after week.
Tonight’s plan is a dinner date, sober, with one of the regular crew from Thursday. Don’t know if it’ll go very far past this as I hadn’t realized he smoked when I agreed to the date, but hey, we’ll see how it goes. Can’t really do much past dinner because I’d like to bike or run tomorrow, and I need more normal sleep pattern back before the upcoming work week and the new stresses that will entail.
On a side note, I wonder if anyone has studied whether people buy less cologne/perfume in jurisdictions where they don’t allow smoking in the bars.
It was interesting to see that Z/S is within walking distance, as long as you feel safe walking through/around the public housing between there and the cult co-op. The experience was a bit crowded; I don’t think they have a very good layout for the bars – too crowded and too few bartenders. Getting ignored by one bartender as he worked the back bar didn’t help my impression of the service. No dancing upstairs, either, despite a large dance floor and lots of dance music playing for the dancers.
Despite my best efforts to be a complete and utter slug today, I did actually manage to get something done today, namely laundry. Otherwise I called in to work because I hadn’t really slept, and then crashed until noonish to catch up on sleep. Then there was Dead Space. Lots and lots of Dead Space. I actually beat the game once through just now (started it Saturday; easy mode), and I’m trying to decide how much more I’ll play in the near future to max out achievements. Sounds like a good inauguration day activity (when not watching the events, that is).
Called the SIL this evening, no word back tonight, so I’ll pester again tomorrow. I can tell I’m still on edge because my poor fingers have been gnawed down to nubs (I bite my nails/cuticles when I’m upset). Perhaps throwing myself back into work tomorrow will help assuage some of this, and I’m hoping my SIL will have better news about my brother (and their efforts to clean the apartment). Who knows?
Still need to organize some shelving I picked up on my way home (yay Ikea!) which looks pretty good, but needs to have some sense of what-goes-where on it. It’s given me an idea for the entertainment stuff as well, which might not need to be as large as I’d assumed before. We shall see. But first tomorrow evening is prep work for the new triathlete program for this year. We’re getting off to a slightly later start, and I’m hopeful this will help cut out some of our volunteer burnout from previous years.
Family can be a lot of trouble.
In brief summary, I spent the last couple of days down in Tidewater visiting my brother’s family, checking on them in the wake of another suicide attempt by my brother. What I discovered was literally a huge mess. The apartment was a disaster area, clothes everywhere, toys everywhere, trash everywhere. It looked like the inside of a white trash trailer.
(By way of background, my brother (31), sister-in-law (31), her twin sister (31), my two younger nieces (2.75, 1.5) and the twin’s son (8) all live in this 2 story apartment. My brother is currently in a mental health facility after Wednesday morning’s attempt.)
I did help get them started on cleaning things up, and I hopefully got them started on working on their bills in a meaningful way. I was not about to clean their dishes for them, though – both sinks were full, and there were more piled up on the table and stovetop. They were late on rent, they were late on the one car payment (which I did pay), and late on a storage unit (which I also paid).
Last night I sat down with two women and apologized for being blunt, but just looked at them and told them they were going to have to be adults, and the house and their finances as they were now was not how adults lived. Had I been a social worker when I came in on Thursday they would not have the kids. They have to get in the habit of putting things away immediately, and they have to take care of bills and mail ASAP. The younger girl keeps getting ear infections; I pointed out that with food trash all over the house, there was a good chance that was contributing to the kids getting sick. My brother admitted when we visited Thursday night that the mess in the house was a trigger for his depression (which the SIL heard, and I reemphasized a couple of times over the weekend). Hopefully coming from me it will get through to them, because heaven knows it hasn’t gotten through coming from either set of parents.
And my parents have said that if they don’t get this stuff cleaned up and soon that they’re going to have a talk with her parents and will consider taking action jointly to protect the nieces.
I’ll do some follow up with them over the next few weeks to see how they’re doing with bills and the cleaning. As I told them, they’ve got to get their act together and act like adults, or their situation is never going to get better, and it might get much, much worse.
I came home today, did some stuff around my own apartment, but I’m just wiped out emotionally tonight.
I had a follow up with my podiatrist this morning. Result: he carved a corn off my little toe (unrelated to anything else going on), and released me from follow up appointments on the plantar fasciitis. There was almost no pain when he pressed on the heel, and I’ve been able to walk around town and do some short sprints (a la running for an elevator or the Metro) without paying for it afterward, so there was no more need to go in and see him. I have the brace to wear if I feel the need to stretch out the tendons, and I’m cleared to start running when I feel ready to do so, with the caveat that I have to build up very slowly with any running I might do.
I should be relieved, but I’m more scared than anything else. Scared that starting up will mean the return of pain. That this will somehow end up being an even longer process because I’ll screw up the foot by doing too much.
Yuck.
I’m going to have to play it by ear. First step will be sleeping without the blinkin’ brace on my foot to see how that goes. Then maybe some running, on a dreadmill treadmill, in case something isn’t right with it. Keep your fingers crossed.
This past weekend sucked. I finally got productive around Sunday afternoon when I had a cleaning/laundry fit, but prior to that it was a lot of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, avoiding walking, and playing on the Wii. My usual “leave me alone until I feel better” attitude gets compounded when it’s semi-painful to walk as well; doesn’t encourage me to leave the house for a lot when it can potentially hurt to do so.
Did get out Sunday morning to use a gift certificate my newbies had given me at the end of their tri program, picked up some cross-training implements to help with that process. Was a good excuse to get out of the house, but even the walk to and from Metro ended up making my heel sore.
Then, today, not a ton of pain. Wandering around the office was fine, no real pain. The bike ride there and back was fine, of course (biking hasn’t irritated it at all, thankfully). So bizarre, pain the one day at minor stuff, none the next at a more normal course. Wish it would just heal up already, this is long past the point where it got old.
This was one of those days. Got up late, got ready, was going to be a few minutes late, but was zipping out the door to make our 10 am staff meeting (I report at 9:30 normally). Checked the work blackberry as I was packing my bag, only to find out it had been changed to 9, not 10 (they’re always at 10!!!), and I was now late for it. Horribly embarrassed I biked in as quickly as I could. Everyone was already back from the meeting (oy), and I apologized all over the place to my supervisors. They were laughing about it, but it pretty much set the mood for the day. At least the presentation I gave to our field counsel over the phone went well.
Thankfully I’m off tomorrow so I can run errands (podiatrist, new drivers license, dry cleaning, etc.), but man did that blow.