Of Moose And Men
The Best Laid Plans Of Both Often Go Astray

Life can be such an interesting experiment. After putting off seeing a specialist for ages, I finally got tired of a consistent belching that I had going on. Turns out the reflux that my mother and her father have/had was passed to me. Yay! Long story short the excess acid production was/is causing me to swallow too much air, so that’s what was/is causing the belching.

Had samples of a prescription drug, got it under control, then the samples ran out. Tried the over the counter (OTC) version, which didn’t give the same results (the samples I had were a newer form of the drug, and 4x as high a dose as the OTC stuff). So, saw the doc for a follow up today, got a prescription for the fancier stuff, and now we start the food experimentation portion of the treatment. I already know that coffee sets it off, so I gave that up a couple of weeks ago (the boy’s expression wasn’t quite one of horror when I told him I’d been off coffee for two days when I first started, but it was close – I had trained him well that coffee was the first thing I needed in the morning). Tea eased the withdrawal, but I’m mostly off that now, too. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been caffeine free – did that once before from ’00-’01, but then we had that little airplane event in the fall and I went back to regular coffee drinking.

I already know that pizza is out, as is falafel, sodas, and beer. Spicy foods seem to be a no-no as well. But the experiment will continue as I figure out what does and doesn’t work. It’s a fun process, actually, and I get to eat a lot of different things as I figure this out.

In other catching up, the anniversary trip to the shore with the boy went well. Didn’t get burned at the shore, had a good time relaxing and reading, and just catching up with each other outside the norm. We walked all over the place, which upped the numbers for both of us on the step count on our vivofits. I think it’s been fun to have those together and to have something of a competition going with them. He wins outright on pure walking, but I tend to go over when you factor in my running. And we both beat his sister regularly (got her one for xmas), which is what really counts.

I’m training now for the marine corps marathon this fall. I got in last year, developed runner’s knee, and postponed the race to this year. While not quite where I’d have liked to be in terms of a base, the training is going well. Related to that, I’m going to take a break from the tri club. There’s been a bit of drama with regard to the newbie program I’ve help run for the last decade, and I’m just not willing to put up with it at this point. I’ve never been one that enjoyed training with a large group (I like the meditative aspects of training), and I’m not really drinking at all (see the reflux discussion above) so I don’t get out and see club folks very often, and I think the club has just moved on, as have I. I’ll maintain my membership, but I don’t see myself doing a lot with them in the immediate future.

I know I’ve said it elsewhere, but I don’t think I’ve said it here: there is little better than homemade mayonnaise. And once you’ve made it at home, why would you ever buy the commercial stuff? That has to be one of the more exciting recent food discoveries. Turns into a nice salad dressing, too.

Also, as I’ve been cooking in the boy’s place I’ve realized how incredibly spoiled I am in my own kitchen, because I’ve had time to slowly build up a good collection of kitchen equipment, giving me a greater range of things that I can prep/make (like the aforementioned mayonnaise – the food processor is key there, though a blender can work, too). Another reason why I look forward to combining our households, so I can cook more for us.

My recent cookbook reading has been Paleo-based, which I’ve been enjoying. No (or minimal) dairy, which is good for lactose-intolerant me. Lots of veggies, also good. And not afraid of full-fat meals, which is a lot tastier than a lot of stuff. Not exactly ‘the two fat ladies’ level, but some good stuff. And the boy hasn’t complained about most of it, which is also a plus. He’s pickier to feed than I am, his diet is fairly bland, so finding stuff he’ll eat has been a challenge. Trying a shepherd’s pie tonight, we’ll see how that goes, though his text response to the suggestion was excited, so I’m thinking it’ll be a win.

The only really fun part has been that it avoids wheat in its entirety, which isn’t the easiest, or even the tastiest. But I have found when I avoid wheat products my digestive system seems to be quieter than not. Annoying, that, since, well, bread & noodles are delicious. But perhaps not the best for my gut. Not allergic to it, was tested on that back in November, but I definitely feel better after I haven’t eaten it for a while.

1. I’m fat (by which I mean I’m well overweight, not that I’m fatally obese).
2. I don’t like what my body looks like, naked.
3. The state of my body and health embarrasses me.
4. Being overweight affects my self-confidence in all aspects of my life.
5. I do not have self-control over junk food.
6. My body is not forgiving, so my diet needs to be exemplary.
7. I’m an emotional eater.
8. When I don’t plan my eating, I don’t eat well.
9. I spend too much energy trying to find a perfect, total solution to these problems, rather than focusing on small, incremental changes.
10. I get angry when small setbacks occur.
11. I give in to the negative talk in my head.
12. I obsess over my flaws.
13. These things hold me back from being the person I want to be.

Haven’t updated in forever (duh). Been dealing with a lot of messes at work, and not felt terribly motivated to deal with most of them. It’s exhausting when you’re working your butt off, and at the same time (it feels like) the entire country is complaining about what it is you do, and your bosses (Congress and POTUS) are talking about cutting your pay & benefits, on top of already constructively cutting them by freezing your pay, but still piling on additional costs for things like health care and pensions. So, yeah, hard to feel motivated. I suspect there will be a lot more of that going around when and if they implement the plan to increase our share of our pension contributions, since that’ll mean a 5-6% (minimum) cut in take home pay. Blah.

So, yeah, frustrated at work.

Other than that, I’m gearing up for next year’s season for my newbies, and seeing how much more I need to be doing. Trying to catch up on reading (the list of materials never gets smaller!). Trying to tweak/fix my eating habits – I gained way, way too much weight over this past year, between bad eating and lack of regular, sustained training. I wish it weren’t so damned easy to eat badly in this country (and frequently so expensive to eat well, though the salad bar by weight at work has been a cheaper option than the local sandwich shop when I fill the large part of the plate with greens).

Things continue to go well with the boy. Met his family last month, made a good impression. I still spend most nights with him and his beagle up at his apartment, though not every night (do have to do laundry on occasion, after all). It’ll be interesting to see how I’m going to work this with training and my coaching stuff with the newbies. An adventure, as life should be. Made him a scarf, so he’s been deemed knit-worthy. If you want more details past that you have to check my Facebook profile.

Left work, left DC, headed out to the midwest this weekend to get the training I need for my coaching certification from USA Triathlon. So far, it’s been really good. Lots of stuff to process and internalize, both for my newbies and for myself. The presenters have been good, though it was obvious the first was an educator as well as a coach, where the second was just a coach without so much of the educator vibe.

My back is complaining from the awful chairs they have us in, but some stretching tonight should help.

Getting to see my friend Troy this evening, part of the reason I chose this locale over Baltimore last month. He’s been out to see me a couple times in DC, so I’m returning the favor.

Debating a nap before we head out.

Work, with the shutdown drama, was absolutely nuts. The craziest I’ve ever seen it for my office. And it’s likely we’ll get to go through this in September/October again, unless Congress can get their collective act together and pass the bills on time, for the first time in well over a decade. Highly unlikely, so I imagine stress levels will rise again in 5 months. Plus we have to update all the old guidance we were forced to rely upon in the meantime, to reflect the new legal realities of the structure of the Big Gubm’nt Agency. Thank heavens we hired the 2nd appropriations attorney. I don’t think we could have done it all with just myself and my two supervisors.

Finished the 2nd book by Taubes, Why We Get Fat. More accessible than the first book, much less dense, but no less annoying in regard to bad dietary advice from much of the establishment. Not quite sure how to work in any of the changes, if at all, but I suspect I shall be modifying my diet a bit in the coming months. Again. In addition to modifying my training. Need to dial down my expectations, do some strength and flexibility work, and slowly build myself back up. Looking back now, I just wiped myself out with the IM, then backed off way too much without a recovery plan, didn’t modify my eating sufficiently, added all the work stress, and just killed my body. And then expected to pop back to “normal” runs and what not without any sort of base. Dumb, dumb, dumb. So, time to slow down, come back slowly, and build myself back properly.

Didn’t run this morning, so I ran this evening after picking up the dry cleaning. Am reminded why I don’t run in the evenings on a normal basis – it makes me far, far too hungry for dinner/late night food (he said, as he began devouring a 2nd helping of steamed dumplings). At least I’m getting back to training, which is the important part. Now if it would just warm up enough to bike outside. Phhhbbbttt! Not where I thought I would be at this point in the season, but I’ll get through the first race.

Have a couple more inches to knit on the sweater, then I get to attach the two sides of the shoulders, then it’s cutting the steeks and knitting the trim. Sooooo close. Would have been good to have done this week as it’s been a trifle chilly, but I’m just happy that I’m close now.

Trying to readjust the sleep schedule to a consistent 5:30 wake up. I’m close, but not quite there. Another reason to just stay on “summer time” (as the Brits call it) all year round – none of this stupid adjusting things 2x a year. Hoping the adjustment to a consistent sleep schedule will aid with the workout schedule. It should. In theory.

In the meantime I’ve been reading Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes; it’s a slightly appalling, very well written, very dense account of the history of scientific research on diet and metabolism in this country. The politics and misinformation involved are more than a bit scary. Food politics just seem to be some of the worst, mostly because of the crazy lobbying by food lobbies.

I have been experimenting with my usual snacks at work. I keep some ‘deluxe mixed nuts’ at my desk for those times I’m craving salt, and they’re usually fine, but occasionally I seem to get an upset stomach. I suspect it may be the cashews, so I’ve been working through the nuts one by one, eating some and not others. Today was the last of them, the cashews, so we’ll see how I feel later tonight. If it’s the cashews I shall be miffed (they’re a fave), but also relieved to know what it was that’s been screwing with ye olde tummye. Would mean more almonds, less mixed. Or giving cashews away to co-workers. Either way works.

Working my way through a sock this week. Started it Sunday while waiting for the cable guy and I’m now into the arch increases (toe-up, of course). Did have to rejigger the numbers once when I discovered I was knitting a bit tighter than I’d thought, but that’s good, they’ll fit better that way and not be too long.

Got permission today to hire our first choice for the new attorney slot. Huzzah! So help will be on the way in a month or two (or three, depending on the admin process *sigh*). But yay, I get help!

For some reason the reintegration back into real life has been a bit difficult. There was the inevitable backup of work at the BGA (“vacation is its own punishment”), breaking things off with someone I’d been dating, adjustment back to east coast time (which means I have to try and fight my normal nature to be a night owl), and just doing the little things like unpacking everything and putting it all away, sorting mail, grocery shopping, etc. Still haven’t done the grocery shopping, so I’ve been subsisting on ever-shrinking supplies of staples from the freezer and cabinet. Not a bad thing, it’s good to clear those out every now and again, but not perhaps the healthiest meals I could be eating.

One thing I’ve been doing to integrate some of our practices from DLOC has been to post “appreciations” over on FaceBook. Just little things to acknowledge those things I’m appreciative of for whatever reason. It does help to make one more mindful of what’s going on in your life, which has made it a useful tool for me.

Past that I’m trying to find my motivation to get back to tri training for my last two races this season, and finish up my commitment with the club’s volunteer work this month. “The Pile” of books has grown since coming back, including some re-reading of classics I feel the need to reexamine in light of the DLOC and SF experiences (The Ethical Slut, the Tao Te Ching/Dao De Jing). I’m about 1/2 an inch from finishing sock #2 on pair #2, and I have another pull ball ready to go on the next set, but the one sock’s been sitting here unloved as I try to work myself back into life.

Picked up another bike yesterday. I wanted something a bit better for zipping around town than my mountain bike (which is a good bike, but not the best for commuting). I went in a slightly different direction, a single gear, and put “campus pedals” on it (clipless on one side, regular pedal platform on the other), so I don’t have to throw on bike shoes just to zip somewhere if I wish to bike out. My goal there is to bike about more to things in town, and sweat be damned. It even came with a kickstand! I feel so retro with a kickstand on a bike – I don’t think I’ve had one of those since high school. With the bike, though, comes the last big purchase for the year, I think. Need to back off and pay off the remnants of vacation and the bike and plan for the end of the year and Giftmas. And to plan for the next body electric workshop next year, of course.

It’s hard to fully describe the changes wrought by DLOC, but I’ll be working on them this year.

Limited email today. My inbox at work hasn’t looked that good since, oh, early February 2004 (i.e., right after I started there)? Evidently we had a “catastrophic cascading hardware failure” in our network stuff which killed off all email access. Whee! Still feel sorry for the CIO types. Explaining this all to management will not be fun. Especially since as of now we still have no crackberry service.

The peanut thing in the slow-cooker worked pretty well. I added water, thinking there wasn’t enough liquid, but it seems there actually was, after the veggies sweat out and shrunk down. So it was “stewier” than expected, but still good. It’s definitely been worth it to have dinner waiting for me when I get home. Now I have a bunch in the freezer for later, again, easier than trying to come up with fresh food every evening, and better than processed stuff as well.

Otherwise more splicer killing in Bioshock, and now it’s zombie movie time, before I crash.

I will say this about the economic news: at least it’s stopped people from commenting on the other inanities which the two campaigns keep spitting out. Though I’d not wish this nonsense on us any day of the week. Re-regulate the markets, tax the hell out of the salaries these fuckers made while screwing the rest of us over and bringing ‘value’ to their companies (which are now defaulting on everything they did), and to the extent necessary, let the market ‘correct’ their actions without bailing their asses out. They so love the market, then live by its rules and don’t expect the rest of us to bail out your poor choices.

Heck of a lot easier to run eight and a half miles at 70 degrees and relatively moderate humidity this morning than it was in the mid-80s with high humidity last Wednesday evening. Just sayin’.

I think I’m finally beginning to appreciate sports drinks while out running and biking. It helps that I’m finally training in a decent heart rate zone and not running too high to take in nutrition. Ever run so fast you felt like you were going to puke? Well, run just below that and you won’t puke, but you can’t take in nutrition, either – your stomach won’t process it. And sports drinks tended to make me feel like I was over-full. Moderated intake, while still mostly drinking water, seems to be working. Which is something I needed to learn, to ensure I take in enough calories while out on long runs and rides.

In other food news, I’m no longer keeping a vegan diet, nor a vegetarian one. As with the original decision to go vegan, this was about my health and what I needed for my diet. This isn’t that big a deal, so I’d appreciate it if folks would refrain from smart ass comments about the change back to omnivory.